Alright, so this weekend was a complete wash. I went to the gym on friday, but all weekend my friends wanted to go the Capital X (It's the PNE/Playland but way smaller). I tried, really hard to keep to the fruit bowls, and I even skipped the minnie donughts. That was painful.
I wanted to head to the gym today and tomorrow but... it was closed... WTF? What kind of gym is open only 9-5 one the bloody weekend? I mean really people. And what upsets me the most is I told the girl who signed me up, "yeah well, I work a lot of 9-5s on weekends and stuff, I really want to be done my workout by 6:30, not starting it (travel time to get to Golds)." Do you think she could have mentioned... OH by the Way, our hours SUCK on weekends. The hours (Which took me two days to find the posting) are in one spot on this huge front of store window, and they aren't even in the direction that I come from. It just irks me. I know it's my own fault for not looking. So in my irked mood, I skipped the gym. I skipped the bus home and just walked, but it's barely long enough to call a workout... 1km tops. Grrrr...
I ate like crap and I skipped the gym. There.. my bad. And what's worse, I let my friend's convince me to eat like crap, and I let one of them who is on the diet with me, eat like crap.
And the worst of it is I let her convince me to eat like crap more often then I should. It's this weird co-dependent sabotage. She convinces herself that she's giving into her friends (me or others) deep desire for crap food (It's one of those NASTY smothered in process cheese and gravy, 800 cal, chicken bowels from KFC.) And I deal with it and eat whatever because I'm giving into what she wants. Well... no more. If I was really her friend I wouldn't let her sabotage herself like that, and if I were better with my goals, I'd put my foot down and say NO, I'm at least not putting that garbage into my body. So maybe that's the new goals.
That's right. New goals. I'm starting all over again at day one. New goals, new drive, and they'll be a little different.
Goal One is still
Go to the gym every day.
2. Plan out my meals to the last detail. That way I won't have the option of adding an extra carb, or an extra fat, or more of this, or less of that. This is what it is and that's that.
3. Put my foot down. No more KFC, No more crap food just to give in to what a friend wants, and to be a better friend and not let her eat that stuff. She'll pout, she'll compare me to her sister, she'll be pissed. But Ultimately, it's what she needs that I'm more worried about than what she wants. She can eat all the chicken bowls she wants when we're not together, but I'm keeping her on track. And myself too. If she wants to sabotage herself, she does it with out blaming her friends.
Officially this all starts on tuesday... Everything is closed here tomorrow. Go Heritage day. I think Alberta is the only place the celebrates this, I never heard of it in BC. I'll go for a real walk so I do get the exercise in. But Tomorrow will be plan and make my meals day.
I've come to far to stop now. I haven't had a doughnut in like 5 months. The only deserts I've had since Feb were on my cruise and I tried to keep to the low fat options. I don't know when I've ever been in the 240 range. So yeah, I'm going to see this through!
No comments:
Post a Comment