OKay, I've been bad. I haven't really been keeping up with my blog, or my water, or my vits, or... well anything really. I'm still chocolate free.
I've decided I'm an emotional eater, like so many. Food is a comfort. I know this. Sugar is damn close to a drug. The way you feel when you bite into a chocolate bar.. omg. Hmm
But that does not mean I can't control it. That does not mean I can't recognize my problem, say no and feel pretty good about myself. It comes down to a choice... have a cookie and feel bad for cheating after the momentary satisfaction of said cookie... or don't have a cookie, feel a little deprived, but realize there's a)no such thing as just one cookie and b) that I had the will power to say no. So even though I am... again... going to start on day one, I'm feeling okay about the last few days.
Like I said though, the success of my goals are completely linked to how tired/stressed/busy I am. I did a 8 day stint at work, with one day off, followed by a 6 day stint, with two, and now I'm up for yet another 7 day stint. What's a girl to do. I need to get my water bottles back in the fridge, I need to start on day one all over again. Maybe the water bottles were part of the habit and when I dropped those... I dropped the water. Don't get me wrong, I've stuck to my diet; lean proteins and veggies. Since I'm trying this 4 hour body thing I even had a cheat day. (Still no chocolate on said cheat day). So I'm pretty okay with how my diet is going. I'm just... I don't know... a little frustrated that I haven't really been sticking to my other goals... the green and white tea is not really getting stuck to. Don't get me wrong, I'm having it pretty often, I'm even enjoying this red tea from starbucks. And I'm convinced my taste buds are changing... I don't like sugar in my tea at all. It's not just I can live with out sugar and milk, it's that I actually enjoy it more with out. Go figure.
On an anoying note... my boyfriend's mom doesn't like me. Yay to that bomb dropped on my head. And it's not just that... it's that most people seem to be betting against the success of our relationship. I love him. That's all that I think should matter. March 7th is our six month... We made it past that honey moon part... we've got amazing comunication, we can actually talk about our issues... and really there arn't meany... so why do people feel the need to have an opinion about what we do, and our relationship. Sigh.
It limits the times and places for intimacy... so... blah... anyways
that's my little rant for the day...
Luv u all
D
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
it's a bloody disease
I need to get back on track ish... my water consumption's gone down. I've been bloated for like three days now and I barely want to put anything in my tummy... but on a ranty note... Obesity is not a FUCKING disease! A fat ass customer at work decided to disagree with me when I started talking about my activities on the internet last night.... Proof stupid is not restricted to the South.
I was on A&E's heavy boards, I love the show, wanted to see if there were any training tips. There was a casting call... and all these desperate obese people praying to get on the show because it's their last hope to conquer their "disease" of obesity. It's a poor lifestyle choice, it's not a disease. Food addiction is a lifestyle choice that is HARD to work through and get over.. but it's a choice... I had a shitty day, I was surrounded by chocolate. I am an emotional eater... I chose not to eat any chocolate. If it was a disease, I would have to. Fine, you have a form of OCD, and maybe that makes you a compulsive eater, or you have a thyroid thing... that's a condition... NOT ALL OBESE people have a disease. If someone came up to me and said my obesity was a disease, I'd slap their face off. I'm making the change, I am changing my lifestyle. I am loosing weight. You wanna say I'm curing myself? No, I'm teaching myself how to life right... and if one more morbidly obese person says their obesity is a disease I'll go up one side and down the other... FUCK THAT SHIT... You are NOT powerless to change who you are, what you look like, how you eat, and HOW YOU LIVE. Choose well and live with it.
Okay.. I'm ranted out...
My new line, I don't play well with stupid.
D
I was on A&E's heavy boards, I love the show, wanted to see if there were any training tips. There was a casting call... and all these desperate obese people praying to get on the show because it's their last hope to conquer their "disease" of obesity. It's a poor lifestyle choice, it's not a disease. Food addiction is a lifestyle choice that is HARD to work through and get over.. but it's a choice... I had a shitty day, I was surrounded by chocolate. I am an emotional eater... I chose not to eat any chocolate. If it was a disease, I would have to. Fine, you have a form of OCD, and maybe that makes you a compulsive eater, or you have a thyroid thing... that's a condition... NOT ALL OBESE people have a disease. If someone came up to me and said my obesity was a disease, I'd slap their face off. I'm making the change, I am changing my lifestyle. I am loosing weight. You wanna say I'm curing myself? No, I'm teaching myself how to life right... and if one more morbidly obese person says their obesity is a disease I'll go up one side and down the other... FUCK THAT SHIT... You are NOT powerless to change who you are, what you look like, how you eat, and HOW YOU LIVE. Choose well and live with it.
Okay.. I'm ranted out...
My new line, I don't play well with stupid.
D
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day one... again.. :(
It is incredible how fast my goal go to shit in direct relation to how tired/busy/worked I am. Yesterday was day seven straight. And I had no food in the house that I could eat (really, there was processed hamburger patties, bacon, and sugary cereal). No eggs, no healthy proteins, no fresh veg... so costco it was. Then I worked. I hate doing that too... That's the one thing that drives me nuts... I hate going out before I work, then coming back, then going back out to go to work. It's just plain annoying.
So it's a shitty excuse, but there you have it... No only did I not follow all my goals because I was tired and busy, (I had everything with me... I just had a crappy day yesterday) I even had a little box of reese peanut butter bites... (Not! the chocolate covered ones... but I'm still wondering if that's a cheat on the no chocolate thing... everyone can weigh in if they want :P). So.. rather than eating the healthy items I brought to work, I bought a box of crap and ate that. Calorically so dense I was too full to eat the good stuff. Go me.
So yesterday:
Didn't drink my water
Didn't eat my veggies
Didn't have all my tea
Didn't have a salad
( I cant remember if I took my vitamins, I think it's that much of a habit.. wake up, swallow)
In fact the only goal I'm sure I stuck to was no chocolate, and no coffee. But as I was making a coffee for my goddmom I was tempted as hell.
So, I guess I'll start fresh today (with everything but the chocolate. Chocolate day is the 4th of March). So, 21 days from today is the 10th of march. I'll do a weigh in and a measure on the 4th. One day shouldn't hurt the waist line... but it does mess with my habit forming... Sigh.
So... yeah
Later guys
So it's a shitty excuse, but there you have it... No only did I not follow all my goals because I was tired and busy, (I had everything with me... I just had a crappy day yesterday) I even had a little box of reese peanut butter bites... (Not! the chocolate covered ones... but I'm still wondering if that's a cheat on the no chocolate thing... everyone can weigh in if they want :P). So.. rather than eating the healthy items I brought to work, I bought a box of crap and ate that. Calorically so dense I was too full to eat the good stuff. Go me.
So yesterday:
Didn't drink my water
Didn't eat my veggies
Didn't have all my tea
Didn't have a salad
( I cant remember if I took my vitamins, I think it's that much of a habit.. wake up, swallow)
In fact the only goal I'm sure I stuck to was no chocolate, and no coffee. But as I was making a coffee for my goddmom I was tempted as hell.
So, I guess I'll start fresh today (with everything but the chocolate. Chocolate day is the 4th of March). So, 21 days from today is the 10th of march. I'll do a weigh in and a measure on the 4th. One day shouldn't hurt the waist line... but it does mess with my habit forming... Sigh.
So... yeah
Later guys
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 7 still chocolate free but... a little down
So, I'm feeling a little down today, I couldn't tell you why if you paid me. I woke up feeling alright, but then as I left the house to go grocery shopping just... meh, down and tired... no energy. Hmmm. I need a rest.
Saturday is coming. One of the girls at work too my shift, mostly for her, but I'm gonna say it was for me. I'm just ragged tired. But Sat, I'm looking at a do nothing day.
Now when I say do nothing.. that's the furthest thing from what it actually is. What a do nothing day really means is I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to.
So Sat, I'll be doing laundry, cooking chile, cleaning my room, cleaning the bird cages, cleaning the litter boxes... etc etc etc. If I can a chance to sit down and rest... it'll be a miracle. But I'm doing everything in my jammies and that's that.
I still need an onion and some peppers. Costco had onions, 4 kgs for 4.99 and that's a great price... but who needs 4kgs of onions? I also want beats. I've been craving beats for a while. Hmm beats. I have no idea why... but beats. It's one of the few.. okay it's the only veggie I can stomach boiled, and it's really sweet for a veg. I had a beat/apple/carrot booster juice a week ago and since, beats have been on the mind.
So I was reading the paper on the bus, and there's an article about a guy who can't cook. I am flabbergasted at the idea that someone can't cook. How can you not know how to cook? Google it! Follow the directions on foodnetwork.com... my god people
Saturday is coming. One of the girls at work too my shift, mostly for her, but I'm gonna say it was for me. I'm just ragged tired. But Sat, I'm looking at a do nothing day.
Now when I say do nothing.. that's the furthest thing from what it actually is. What a do nothing day really means is I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to.
So Sat, I'll be doing laundry, cooking chile, cleaning my room, cleaning the bird cages, cleaning the litter boxes... etc etc etc. If I can a chance to sit down and rest... it'll be a miracle. But I'm doing everything in my jammies and that's that.
I still need an onion and some peppers. Costco had onions, 4 kgs for 4.99 and that's a great price... but who needs 4kgs of onions? I also want beats. I've been craving beats for a while. Hmm beats. I have no idea why... but beats. It's one of the few.. okay it's the only veggie I can stomach boiled, and it's really sweet for a veg. I had a beat/apple/carrot booster juice a week ago and since, beats have been on the mind.
So I was reading the paper on the bus, and there's an article about a guy who can't cook. I am flabbergasted at the idea that someone can't cook. How can you not know how to cook? Google it! Follow the directions on foodnetwork.com... my god people
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
V-day success! Chocolate Free!
Alright, so quick post... I was successful in avoiding chocolate on v-day (giving a lot of credit to Andrew here since he didn't get me any) and I got in most of my goals.
In the interests of Shutting Andrew Up I finally borrowed his book The 4 Hour Body. I've never been a fan of low carb diets, I tried atkins and went crazy. But, I can see the appeal. A) he's lost 20 ish lbs in 30 days. B) Tim (can't remember the last name) has a no nonsense style of cutting through the BS. C) despite the way Andrew made it sound, it's not actually a low carb diet plan, so much as a discription of systematic controls and tools, along with a high protine, good carb plan (from what I've read so far).
So maybe I'll see. I'll read through, see what I need to change and go from there. What I'm doing now isn't working as fast as I would like it to in part because I can't comfortably follow it. It requires dairy or diary subsitutes. I'm unconfortable taking a pill every time I want to eat something from a cow, and even more uncomfortable paying the extra costs of lactos free products... and any of the other supstitutes just taste like shite.
So I'll keep reading, and I'll see.
I'll have more posted on this by tomorrow... maybe with more read.
Cheers
D
In the interests of Shutting Andrew Up I finally borrowed his book The 4 Hour Body. I've never been a fan of low carb diets, I tried atkins and went crazy. But, I can see the appeal. A) he's lost 20 ish lbs in 30 days. B) Tim (can't remember the last name) has a no nonsense style of cutting through the BS. C) despite the way Andrew made it sound, it's not actually a low carb diet plan, so much as a discription of systematic controls and tools, along with a high protine, good carb plan (from what I've read so far).
So maybe I'll see. I'll read through, see what I need to change and go from there. What I'm doing now isn't working as fast as I would like it to in part because I can't comfortably follow it. It requires dairy or diary subsitutes. I'm unconfortable taking a pill every time I want to eat something from a cow, and even more uncomfortable paying the extra costs of lactos free products... and any of the other supstitutes just taste like shite.
So I'll keep reading, and I'll see.
I'll have more posted on this by tomorrow... maybe with more read.
Cheers
D
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Day 3, thus far success
So, day two was fun; I was working at Rexall, and one of my managers comes in with a big bowl of you guessed it...Chocolate. Yeah. I was in total fml mode. But... again, I resisted. So very happy with that. And of course green tea and white tea, and diet, and all those other goals accomplished :) But, I almost bought at pudding cake. Don't ask me why, but I almost bought myself and Linda an apple cinnamon cake. The only reason it didn't make it home was I forgot my wallet this morning. My sugar cravings were horrible yesterday. It was like... Sugar nom nom nom... for the most part I resisted. I had a piece of toast with a little bit of honey and cinnamon on it. That did the trick.
I think I'm going to roast a few more almonds tonight before turning in. Honey cinnamon this time.
I've been reading up on the glycemic index, and I think I might try altering my diet a little. I was talking to a cop at rex who doubled as a personal trainer and we got on the subject of weight loss, and he told me that after about 2 weeks of following a low glycemic diet it creates a hormone reaction that makes your body burn fat for energy rather then turn on the insulin to store it, or just burn food for energy. I'm still going to keep to the changes I'm doing down, but I'm thinking of trying to give up breads and starchy foods, and just try out doing the low GI foods. Couldn't hurt, people have been saying for decades to avoid white flower products, and while whole weat bread isnt that high, it's not that low either... But a lot of what I've read says that pasta is a GI product, but the trick is to prepair it al dente, strikingly different than what westerners have been trained to cook and eat it. The worst that will happen... I'll miss bread... the best that will happen, I'll loose more weight and eat healthier.
Anyways, I think the white and green tea is starting to kick in, tonight I'm having this abundant feeling of energy. It's 930 and all I want to do is go jogging... considering my streets are ice rinks, I'll clean my room, change my sheets, and get some stuff ready for tomorrow.
Oh, and Andrew brought me purple flowers at work. I love them... So pretty :D. I'm gonna hit the gym tomorrow, then he's cooking and it's a couple's night. Nice thing too, cause I don't have to be at work till 6 Tuesday. Sucks a little this week, my only day off is sunday.
Hmm.. I need to get to Costco and replenish my veggie supplies. Lordy.
Gym tomorrow, get on the treadmill again. See what's what for jogging. hmm Alright.. new sheets!
Cheers All
D
I think I'm going to roast a few more almonds tonight before turning in. Honey cinnamon this time.
I've been reading up on the glycemic index, and I think I might try altering my diet a little. I was talking to a cop at rex who doubled as a personal trainer and we got on the subject of weight loss, and he told me that after about 2 weeks of following a low glycemic diet it creates a hormone reaction that makes your body burn fat for energy rather then turn on the insulin to store it, or just burn food for energy. I'm still going to keep to the changes I'm doing down, but I'm thinking of trying to give up breads and starchy foods, and just try out doing the low GI foods. Couldn't hurt, people have been saying for decades to avoid white flower products, and while whole weat bread isnt that high, it's not that low either... But a lot of what I've read says that pasta is a GI product, but the trick is to prepair it al dente, strikingly different than what westerners have been trained to cook and eat it. The worst that will happen... I'll miss bread... the best that will happen, I'll loose more weight and eat healthier.
Anyways, I think the white and green tea is starting to kick in, tonight I'm having this abundant feeling of energy. It's 930 and all I want to do is go jogging... considering my streets are ice rinks, I'll clean my room, change my sheets, and get some stuff ready for tomorrow.
Oh, and Andrew brought me purple flowers at work. I love them... So pretty :D. I'm gonna hit the gym tomorrow, then he's cooking and it's a couple's night. Nice thing too, cause I don't have to be at work till 6 Tuesday. Sucks a little this week, my only day off is sunday.
Hmm.. I need to get to Costco and replenish my veggie supplies. Lordy.
Gym tomorrow, get on the treadmill again. See what's what for jogging. hmm Alright.. new sheets!
Cheers All
D
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 1... GOOD
Alright, so I'm thrilled with myself on day one of the 21. I spent last night with my boyfriend, and let me first say, I love his mom, she's so sweet. He has a cheat day every week, and fridays are just that. And she's aware. So we head upstairs to head to West Ed for a cancer fundraising even, and what dose she hand me and Andrew? One of those lovely little Lint three packs of those absolutely glorious chocolate balls with the gooey creamy chocolate in the centre. Yay, my first day of 21 that I'm giving up chocolate and I get handed a lovely little box of chocolate.
Of course I thanked her so much cause it was really really sweet. I gave them to Linda when I got home tonight... quickly.
Other than that hurdle the day went pretty good. Stuck to healthy eating, might have over did the starches a bit, but it balanced out. I had Booster Juice for the first time. Beat, Carrot and Apple. A nice combo. While the vast majority of stuff is undrinkable to me since it has Dairy in it, the fresh squeezed is just juice no smoothie action. It was good. I'm pretty sure I drank my fruits and veg for the day.
Had my green tea and my white, and there's this great tea shop that is in about every mall in Edmonton, and they sell these great loose leaf organic teas. So, grabbed some green tea, and this amazing smelling blue berry white tea. Hmm cant wait to try it tomorrow.
We ended up at the mall for 6 hours... Yes that's right ladies, I have a boyfriend who likes being at the mall... and we were walking around the majority of the time... I think that counts as some exercise for the day.
Well Roonie (Kitten) is demanding attention, and I have to wake yup for work tomorrow. So Night all. PS, how's the challenge coming if anyone's taking it up? Choose your teas yet? Or got your juice in?
Cheers
D
Of course I thanked her so much cause it was really really sweet. I gave them to Linda when I got home tonight... quickly.
Other than that hurdle the day went pretty good. Stuck to healthy eating, might have over did the starches a bit, but it balanced out. I had Booster Juice for the first time. Beat, Carrot and Apple. A nice combo. While the vast majority of stuff is undrinkable to me since it has Dairy in it, the fresh squeezed is just juice no smoothie action. It was good. I'm pretty sure I drank my fruits and veg for the day.
Had my green tea and my white, and there's this great tea shop that is in about every mall in Edmonton, and they sell these great loose leaf organic teas. So, grabbed some green tea, and this amazing smelling blue berry white tea. Hmm cant wait to try it tomorrow.
We ended up at the mall for 6 hours... Yes that's right ladies, I have a boyfriend who likes being at the mall... and we were walking around the majority of the time... I think that counts as some exercise for the day.
Well Roonie (Kitten) is demanding attention, and I have to wake yup for work tomorrow. So Night all. PS, how's the challenge coming if anyone's taking it up? Choose your teas yet? Or got your juice in?
Cheers
D
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