I am incredibly satisfied with today; A) at work our Easter candy came in, and omg, mini-eggs, and caramel eggs. They just have this magical over sugared smell and it was just like... omg.. so good. BUT I resisted buying them. So YAY will power!
And here's the painful thing, those delightful mini eggs are 190 cals for a little package... My asparagus omelet was in the range of 200, so, it seems kinda skewed. The caramilk egg.. again SO good, 160.... I could have a whole latte for that. So yeah, will power and lable reading, and I said no to delightful chocolate. Hmmm...
Anyways I'm also happy with today because I feel like I just kicked some serious ass at the gym. And that's always a good feeling.
Tomorrow is a hell day; meaning I get to do both jobs, and be out of the house at... 8AMish, and be home by... 1am... although I'm not actually going home... Date night.
The only thing that sucks about tomorrow... no opportunity to hit the gym.
ANYHoo
Go WILL POWER! If I can say no to chocolate, anyone can :)
Later guys!
D
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Day 12, 11 went good too
Alright, So, squats... yeah... still painful as crap. But, as Andrew likes to remind me "feel the pain of discipline or the pain of regret." It works, push through, but I have to get on a better routine for the muscle work.
I FINALLY found a Vinaigrette that I like. I'm well aware that cream dressings are terrible for me, well for people in general, high cal, high fat, high sugar... but who doesn't like a good caesar salad? Well, my gut's not a fan of it with all the cheese, and added stuff. Anyways, sun dried tomato, balsamic vinaigrette. The boy and I went out for dinner after work (my lunch just wasn't that great so we hit up BPs) So yeah, tossed green salad with that dressing and my god, it was good. Now I get to find something similar. And considering they are about half the cals, it should help me enjoy my salads even more... that's the goal anyways.
Sigh, I think I have to do it. I think I have to give up my morning coffee. The coffee itself, I'm aware, not so bad... it's everything I put in the coffee. And since I'm terribly unsatisfied with the numbers on the scale (one friend keeps giving me shit for jumping on when I in my cycle, so maybe I do need to wait) I'm just not seeing the numbers go down. And to be frank, it's more important to me to be at 150lbs, than it is to have a cup of coffee or two every day.
Green tea has caffeine if I need the pick up, and if I really want coffee I can treat myself to an americano misto with sugar free caramel, get my coffee fix, get my dairy in, and not add any extra calories.
I also have to be frank with my room mate/god mum, who like to take care of me, and loves me, and likes cooking, but is in the mindset that I don't need to loose weight, that a "bacon sanny" with two huge pieces of bread, spreads of sorts (alright alright, mayo) two fried eggs, and a coffee, IS NOT a good breakfast for me.
It's cute, she watches A&E's heavy (good show), and sees like these 350+ and 500lb people, and she's like... see, you're not that big, you don't need to worry. My deal is to try and make her understand that No... I'm not 350lbs, but I'm still not at a healthy weight. There's stress on my heart, my body, my joints, because I am still in the obease range.
Here's a bit of good news though. When I started all of this, Andrew made me a little WII fit character, and my % over normal weight was like 36.6 (give or take a decimal) and last time I got on, it was 35.5, so yay... climbing down the obease latter.
I do have to remind myself I'm trying to build muscle at the same time, so maybe on feb 10th when I get out the tape measure, I'll be in a better place. Scales can be irrelevent and frustraiting... or helpful if I need to keep things in mind.. Hmm do I need that bit of dip with my veggies or should I just enjoy them on their own (I do actually like the tast of veggies).
My shoulder's look awesome though, my neck and shoulders. I'm loving it. I'm getting clavacles... and they make me happy :D (That's my what I like about myself when I look in the mirror moment.)
Oh, and I think I'm putting this out there. Here's a tip for those of you whom don't like to eat veggies... this will make a good family sized serving
1 tsp-tbls spoon of olive oil
12-18 baby carrots (depending on how many people)
1/4 head of cauliflor
1/4 white onion chopped big and chunky (really just hack it off and break the piece up)
A pinch of salt
a good hit of corse ground pepper to taste
Toss all that stuff up, toss it in a baking pan in the oven for 20-40 mins (depending on how hard or soft you like your veg) and ta-da! They taste amazing, with out adding butter, or cheese, or any other veggie maskers. The olive oil adds a ton of flavor, while only adding about 60-100 extra cals for the whole table to split.
That's my hint for the day anyways.
Luv you all !
D
I FINALLY found a Vinaigrette that I like. I'm well aware that cream dressings are terrible for me, well for people in general, high cal, high fat, high sugar... but who doesn't like a good caesar salad? Well, my gut's not a fan of it with all the cheese, and added stuff. Anyways, sun dried tomato, balsamic vinaigrette. The boy and I went out for dinner after work (my lunch just wasn't that great so we hit up BPs) So yeah, tossed green salad with that dressing and my god, it was good. Now I get to find something similar. And considering they are about half the cals, it should help me enjoy my salads even more... that's the goal anyways.
Sigh, I think I have to do it. I think I have to give up my morning coffee. The coffee itself, I'm aware, not so bad... it's everything I put in the coffee. And since I'm terribly unsatisfied with the numbers on the scale (one friend keeps giving me shit for jumping on when I in my cycle, so maybe I do need to wait) I'm just not seeing the numbers go down. And to be frank, it's more important to me to be at 150lbs, than it is to have a cup of coffee or two every day.
Green tea has caffeine if I need the pick up, and if I really want coffee I can treat myself to an americano misto with sugar free caramel, get my coffee fix, get my dairy in, and not add any extra calories.
I also have to be frank with my room mate/god mum, who like to take care of me, and loves me, and likes cooking, but is in the mindset that I don't need to loose weight, that a "bacon sanny" with two huge pieces of bread, spreads of sorts (alright alright, mayo) two fried eggs, and a coffee, IS NOT a good breakfast for me.
It's cute, she watches A&E's heavy (good show), and sees like these 350+ and 500lb people, and she's like... see, you're not that big, you don't need to worry. My deal is to try and make her understand that No... I'm not 350lbs, but I'm still not at a healthy weight. There's stress on my heart, my body, my joints, because I am still in the obease range.
Here's a bit of good news though. When I started all of this, Andrew made me a little WII fit character, and my % over normal weight was like 36.6 (give or take a decimal) and last time I got on, it was 35.5, so yay... climbing down the obease latter.
I do have to remind myself I'm trying to build muscle at the same time, so maybe on feb 10th when I get out the tape measure, I'll be in a better place. Scales can be irrelevent and frustraiting... or helpful if I need to keep things in mind.. Hmm do I need that bit of dip with my veggies or should I just enjoy them on their own (I do actually like the tast of veggies).
My shoulder's look awesome though, my neck and shoulders. I'm loving it. I'm getting clavacles... and they make me happy :D (That's my what I like about myself when I look in the mirror moment.)
Oh, and I think I'm putting this out there. Here's a tip for those of you whom don't like to eat veggies... this will make a good family sized serving
1 tsp-tbls spoon of olive oil
12-18 baby carrots (depending on how many people)
1/4 head of cauliflor
1/4 white onion chopped big and chunky (really just hack it off and break the piece up)
A pinch of salt
a good hit of corse ground pepper to taste
Toss all that stuff up, toss it in a baking pan in the oven for 20-40 mins (depending on how hard or soft you like your veg) and ta-da! They taste amazing, with out adding butter, or cheese, or any other veggie maskers. The olive oil adds a ton of flavor, while only adding about 60-100 extra cals for the whole table to split.
That's my hint for the day anyways.
Luv you all !
D
Monday, January 31, 2011
Day 10... squats... as ugly as it sounds..
Squats are evil. Cruel, painful and evil. But one of the personal trainers at the club passed by me while I did them and said good job, those are hard to do. So, that gave me a little boost. :)
I thought about it whilst relaxing under some hot water, last week was a completely stress fee week. Amazing. I haven't had one of those for... well since the middle of November actually. I have been running on stress for weeks and weeks and weeks... but now... I'm good.
So Went to the gym with TJ, friend/boss from work. I'm pretty close to my 8 glasses. Had my two fruits (Raspberries in oatmeal is fan-freakin-tastic), I'm pretty close to my 4 veggies.
I cheated today though... at my job when candy has a month left before it expires we knock it down by 50% so here me and TJ are, faced with this pile of chocolate hershey bars for .65 cents... we managed to keep it to one and split it. I'm just gonna say this was a success because I LOVE chocolate, and the fact that the twoonie in my pocked would have bought two and I would have happily polished them off then and there... and I didn't... yeah... I'm gonna say success.
Anyhoo, I've taken to listing... I find it helps keep me busy, and organized... as long as I don't go overboard and hit OCD levels.
In feb a few things I want to take care of are
type up some crochet patterns
and get some stuff to put up on a crafting website, esty
make use of my new sewing machine to fix up some curtains in the house...
and properly plot out and outline a book I've been working on.
I also want to see an education counselor about going back to school.. so yeah
Lofty goals for feb.
The tenth is day 21, official weigh in and measure day. So yeah.. big month..
later guys
D
I thought about it whilst relaxing under some hot water, last week was a completely stress fee week. Amazing. I haven't had one of those for... well since the middle of November actually. I have been running on stress for weeks and weeks and weeks... but now... I'm good.
So Went to the gym with TJ, friend/boss from work. I'm pretty close to my 8 glasses. Had my two fruits (Raspberries in oatmeal is fan-freakin-tastic), I'm pretty close to my 4 veggies.
I cheated today though... at my job when candy has a month left before it expires we knock it down by 50% so here me and TJ are, faced with this pile of chocolate hershey bars for .65 cents... we managed to keep it to one and split it. I'm just gonna say this was a success because I LOVE chocolate, and the fact that the twoonie in my pocked would have bought two and I would have happily polished them off then and there... and I didn't... yeah... I'm gonna say success.
Anyhoo, I've taken to listing... I find it helps keep me busy, and organized... as long as I don't go overboard and hit OCD levels.
In feb a few things I want to take care of are
type up some crochet patterns
and get some stuff to put up on a crafting website, esty
make use of my new sewing machine to fix up some curtains in the house...
and properly plot out and outline a book I've been working on.
I also want to see an education counselor about going back to school.. so yeah
Lofty goals for feb.
The tenth is day 21, official weigh in and measure day. So yeah.. big month..
later guys
D
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Day 9, I think
So Day 9, I'm pretty sure. Ah the absence of a few days. Well I spent most of Friday with Brik, a lot of Sat was with him too, along with work.
So, gym wasn't part of the plan, but thanks to snow plows in the area, the boy and I walked to breakfast and back. Not a short across the street walk. I'd call it brisk (well I would if he wasn't strolling though part of it :D I love you baby... he reads this).
ANY HOO
Obviously I broke my diet.. One word... booze... I broke my diet, but the weight didn't stick, so that's a good thing.
I had a fucking awesome birthday by the way. Bowling, booze, friends, a bar at the end, and having a great boyfriend stay sober and babysit me. Apparently whilst walking to the car I wasn't entirely focused and would have walked into oncoming traffic. I like to think I maintain a few of my common sense faculties when I drink myself into a stupor but I guess that's just not the case.
So as January rolls into a close, I'm thinking I did pretty good with my list of to-do's, and my goals, I sill have 13 days of this 21 to go, but like I said, habits are well on their way to being fully formed. 8 glasses of water has been a consistent check, I think I have been fairly consistent with the writing... veggies, and fruit... inconsistent, but I'm getting SOME in every day, and I have been avoiding crap.
I got all my big to-do's done, two things will be carried over. I need to see an education counselor about furthering my degree, and in theory, I want to try to read every day, and get back into writing. I hoped that getting back into my blog would help with the writing, and it gets me writing, but it's not the writing I want to be working on. I might need something to spark the juices again.
I'm gonna keep going with the goals here, and see how automatic it becomes... I even numbered the tops of my water bottles so I can keep track better... I might be getting too obsessed.
I think I'm going to add a goal for Feb though. A friend of mine, Steph, a hugely supportive friend of mine, gave me some advice to put that fat girl voice in it's place.
One of my goals, think of one really positive thing about my body, every day. Change my thinking; like she said, if I'm hating on my legs, change the mindset, think about strong they are and how they power me through my workouts.
Water
Veggies
Fruit
blog
positive thinking!
Cheers Peeps
D
So, gym wasn't part of the plan, but thanks to snow plows in the area, the boy and I walked to breakfast and back. Not a short across the street walk. I'd call it brisk (well I would if he wasn't strolling though part of it :D I love you baby... he reads this).
ANY HOO
Obviously I broke my diet.. One word... booze... I broke my diet, but the weight didn't stick, so that's a good thing.
I had a fucking awesome birthday by the way. Bowling, booze, friends, a bar at the end, and having a great boyfriend stay sober and babysit me. Apparently whilst walking to the car I wasn't entirely focused and would have walked into oncoming traffic. I like to think I maintain a few of my common sense faculties when I drink myself into a stupor but I guess that's just not the case.
So as January rolls into a close, I'm thinking I did pretty good with my list of to-do's, and my goals, I sill have 13 days of this 21 to go, but like I said, habits are well on their way to being fully formed. 8 glasses of water has been a consistent check, I think I have been fairly consistent with the writing... veggies, and fruit... inconsistent, but I'm getting SOME in every day, and I have been avoiding crap.
I got all my big to-do's done, two things will be carried over. I need to see an education counselor about furthering my degree, and in theory, I want to try to read every day, and get back into writing. I hoped that getting back into my blog would help with the writing, and it gets me writing, but it's not the writing I want to be working on. I might need something to spark the juices again.
I'm gonna keep going with the goals here, and see how automatic it becomes... I even numbered the tops of my water bottles so I can keep track better... I might be getting too obsessed.
I think I'm going to add a goal for Feb though. A friend of mine, Steph, a hugely supportive friend of mine, gave me some advice to put that fat girl voice in it's place.
One of my goals, think of one really positive thing about my body, every day. Change my thinking; like she said, if I'm hating on my legs, change the mindset, think about strong they are and how they power me through my workouts.
Water
Veggies
Fruit
blog
positive thinking!
Cheers Peeps
D
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day 6 2lbs!
Okay, So I know I said to myself I would try to avoid the scale a little... Weight fluxes there's no way around that... but for the first time in a few days... (pause for dramatic emphasis) the scale fluxed down. I'm down 2lbs in 5 days. :D
Seeing the results dose pump me up quite a bit. It makes me want to keep going on the healthy path, it makes me want to get to the gym, and a it makes me want to drink the water, eat the veggies, go to the grocery store and get more and etc etc etc.
Last night, like I said, I was soar, I chose not to go to the gym... I regretted that so much. I was board to tears. I did my ball exercises and stuff. But, I really wanted that accomplished feeling of beating the elliptical, sweating it, seeing my heart rate get into that calorie burning zone, and all that jazz.
Well today I'm hitting the gym for sure. Tonight anyways. And I've got some house work to do today. I found this little website that calculated for every 15 mins of moderate house work I did, it burned 91 cals. If it's true it's comforting. Cause I got more than 15 mins of house work to do :P.
Hopefully the ice will melt and I can walk to the grocery store later today to. While I love baby carrots, I need a little variance in my veggies.
Tomorrow's my BDaY! yay, my odo's kicking over.. *shrugs* it's cool to think that last year I was 82lbs heavier. But one thing my bf's giving me is a training program for muscle work.
Squats,
Deadlifts
Kettlebell swings
pushups will be in volved.
They all sound terrible... However, the more lean muscle I can build, the more cals I will burn, and that ladies and gents is what this body needs.
Alright To Do today
Laundry
Clean floors,
tidy rooms,
clean bird cages,
go to gym
try to hit up grocery store
meet Brik at campus and have little date night thing
... that seems like enough.. (keeping in mind my other goals :P)
Cheers All
D
Seeing the results dose pump me up quite a bit. It makes me want to keep going on the healthy path, it makes me want to get to the gym, and a it makes me want to drink the water, eat the veggies, go to the grocery store and get more and etc etc etc.
Last night, like I said, I was soar, I chose not to go to the gym... I regretted that so much. I was board to tears. I did my ball exercises and stuff. But, I really wanted that accomplished feeling of beating the elliptical, sweating it, seeing my heart rate get into that calorie burning zone, and all that jazz.
Well today I'm hitting the gym for sure. Tonight anyways. And I've got some house work to do today. I found this little website that calculated for every 15 mins of moderate house work I did, it burned 91 cals. If it's true it's comforting. Cause I got more than 15 mins of house work to do :P.
Hopefully the ice will melt and I can walk to the grocery store later today to. While I love baby carrots, I need a little variance in my veggies.
Tomorrow's my BDaY! yay, my odo's kicking over.. *shrugs* it's cool to think that last year I was 82lbs heavier. But one thing my bf's giving me is a training program for muscle work.
Squats,
Deadlifts
Kettlebell swings
pushups will be in volved.
They all sound terrible... However, the more lean muscle I can build, the more cals I will burn, and that ladies and gents is what this body needs.
Alright To Do today
Laundry
Clean floors,
tidy rooms,
clean bird cages,
go to gym
try to hit up grocery store
meet Brik at campus and have little date night thing
... that seems like enough.. (keeping in mind my other goals :P)
Cheers All
D
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
day 6
So, by the feel of things, more habits are sticking :) I haven't missed a beat on the vitamins in the morning, nor the 8 glasses of water, nor the 4+ veggies :).
I discovered today that some romaine lettuce with some of that clover leave flavored tuna is a great low fat salad... no dressing, no extra fats. So, yay good.
I have to get some exercise in still. There was a thin layer of deadly ice covering the ground this morning, so of course I fell on the way to work, and have a grapefruit sized bruise on my ass. Yippy. So I skipped the gym on my way home, I was a little on the soar spot still. I'm gonna do some ball work, and some weights, and that will be cool.
I had a better day then yesterday and tomorrow's gonna be even better. It can only get better.
I discovered today that some romaine lettuce with some of that clover leave flavored tuna is a great low fat salad... no dressing, no extra fats. So, yay good.
I have to get some exercise in still. There was a thin layer of deadly ice covering the ground this morning, so of course I fell on the way to work, and have a grapefruit sized bruise on my ass. Yippy. So I skipped the gym on my way home, I was a little on the soar spot still. I'm gonna do some ball work, and some weights, and that will be cool.
I had a better day then yesterday and tomorrow's gonna be even better. It can only get better.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 5, you be the judge..
So, I'm 2 glasses away from 8 today. And that will happen, cause I'm kinda dying right now :P (funny the more water I drink the more I want). I went the gym, but it felt somehow unsatisfying. I did 20 mins of interval work on the bike, and normally that's good. I feel good about it. But yesterday I did 20 mins of interval on the hell that is the elliptical, and felt like I really accomplished something since I end up burning and wanting die at 20 mins of steady work. So... yesterday I felt great. I kept to my diet, I even AVOIDED COOKIES again. So, stoked about that. Had a rough morning and everything, but I said to myself... "you're not ruining your diet for some fucking cookies." And I ate my carrots.
I had soft taccos tonight, but I kept the portions small, and loaded with veggies as opposed to fatty meats, and I kept two protines open and a starch, and I hadn't had my daries - so cheese was covered at least.
So, I feel like I've kept it in the acceptable range. I'm just... feeling bummed still. I'm still feeling the fat girl that I was is creeping back in.
I had a couple moments where I was squeezing... you know.. you grab a handful of gut and shudder at how much is there. I know there's way less than when I started. I know I've at least lost 12lbs since starting this blog... AND I kept it off over the Holidays.
And I know I'm doing good things for my body. So why is the fat girl, the 300lb I hate my body fat girl sneaking up in my thoughts that I'm trying to keep positive.
I had an epiphany in the shower. Maybe... maybe it's because I'm done settling. I've never been 230... well not since I was 10 and like 12 inches shorter (I'm guessing here fyi). I've never been anything under 280 for all of my fully developed teen to adult life. So maybe the reason I stopped pushing so hard... aside from life crapping on me repeadedly... is that I settled. I settled at 230. And maybe I need to re-realize that 230 is just not God Damed good enough. I lost 80lbs, I can loose another 50!
So its not good enough for me. If 230 was good enough then why the hell don't I just go back up there. It's NOT. I don't like the way I look... FINE! I'm doing something about it... Take that Fat girl...
I'm changing... my gut... not attractive... but it's gonna shrink, so no more looking in the mirror and hating it.
That's right Ladies and Gents... It's not good enough.
Day 5 and here's my pep talk... It's not good enough, it's not worth settling... I don't like it.. I'm gonna change it. And that fat girl on my shoulder... the one tell me how bad it is... Well she can just go fuck herself!
Cheers Loves!!
D
I had soft taccos tonight, but I kept the portions small, and loaded with veggies as opposed to fatty meats, and I kept two protines open and a starch, and I hadn't had my daries - so cheese was covered at least.
So, I feel like I've kept it in the acceptable range. I'm just... feeling bummed still. I'm still feeling the fat girl that I was is creeping back in.
I had a couple moments where I was squeezing... you know.. you grab a handful of gut and shudder at how much is there. I know there's way less than when I started. I know I've at least lost 12lbs since starting this blog... AND I kept it off over the Holidays.
And I know I'm doing good things for my body. So why is the fat girl, the 300lb I hate my body fat girl sneaking up in my thoughts that I'm trying to keep positive.
I had an epiphany in the shower. Maybe... maybe it's because I'm done settling. I've never been 230... well not since I was 10 and like 12 inches shorter (I'm guessing here fyi). I've never been anything under 280 for all of my fully developed teen to adult life. So maybe the reason I stopped pushing so hard... aside from life crapping on me repeadedly... is that I settled. I settled at 230. And maybe I need to re-realize that 230 is just not God Damed good enough. I lost 80lbs, I can loose another 50!
So its not good enough for me. If 230 was good enough then why the hell don't I just go back up there. It's NOT. I don't like the way I look... FINE! I'm doing something about it... Take that Fat girl...
I'm changing... my gut... not attractive... but it's gonna shrink, so no more looking in the mirror and hating it.
That's right Ladies and Gents... It's not good enough.
Day 5 and here's my pep talk... It's not good enough, it's not worth settling... I don't like it.. I'm gonna change it. And that fat girl on my shoulder... the one tell me how bad it is... Well she can just go fuck herself!
Cheers Loves!!
D
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