So, it happened, I hit 240LBS! yay!
I've decided that at 230, I'm going to play go through my entire closet and wardrobe and get rid of whatever doesn't fit... and at this point it's going to be a lot. I'm thinking of putting like 100 bucks away so I can hit up a couple of stores, and thrift shops...
But yay 240~
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Yay thunderstorms
So, power's been out, my cats don't like thunder, and for whatever goddamed reason I can't get below 242 and stay there....
Jesus I'm hitting a wall.
re-group time... i just don't know how to or what to do next. I'm going to play calorie counting soon, and just grab a big ass tupperwear container, day one food in there, day two food in the next.. then I can't deviate... It's not like I've been deviating tones... I've just been forgetting to eat the veg. I'm just not hungry. And I keep thinking back to the days of pain.
Anyone know a good cleanse? I don't really wanna do one of those starve yourself things... I just want to clear out my system and start fresh. Maybe I'll hit up a health store this week.
I'm also trying not to get sick, and starting my second job today. To vitamin C, and a little extra rest. I'm sure I'll be fine. And gargle salt water... since at this point I can feel it in my throat.
I clocked myself.. 1 39 mins to comfortable walk 5K, and 4 weeks to bring that down. Maybe I'll stop looking at the scale for four weeks and just look at my time; either way though, I'm feeling obsessed with numbers.
Jesus I'm hitting a wall.
re-group time... i just don't know how to or what to do next. I'm going to play calorie counting soon, and just grab a big ass tupperwear container, day one food in there, day two food in the next.. then I can't deviate... It's not like I've been deviating tones... I've just been forgetting to eat the veg. I'm just not hungry. And I keep thinking back to the days of pain.
Anyone know a good cleanse? I don't really wanna do one of those starve yourself things... I just want to clear out my system and start fresh. Maybe I'll hit up a health store this week.
I'm also trying not to get sick, and starting my second job today. To vitamin C, and a little extra rest. I'm sure I'll be fine. And gargle salt water... since at this point I can feel it in my throat.
I clocked myself.. 1 39 mins to comfortable walk 5K, and 4 weeks to bring that down. Maybe I'll stop looking at the scale for four weeks and just look at my time; either way though, I'm feeling obsessed with numbers.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Day 8, or six... I feel gross
Alright, WTF. I had a muffin, A muffin... A coffee shop muffin. I went to a coffee shop with a friend, had a muffin (yeah it was one of those big over sized coffee shop muffins but it took me about an hour and half to eat it) and I have now spent the better part of two days in severe bloated pain. I mean Doubled over, my rib cage feels like it's going to crack open kind of pain. Add too it heart burn and the burps and I've been one cranky girl. I tried to hit the gym and was actually doubled over after about 10 mins.
I can't eat crap food... Has my body become so used to decent balanced eating that I can't even handle the crap food I was so easily consuming? But just seems odd... extreme...
grr... I'm going to go find more pepto, curl up into a ball and die
I can't eat crap food... Has my body become so used to decent balanced eating that I can't even handle the crap food I was so easily consuming? But just seems odd... extreme...
grr... I'm going to go find more pepto, curl up into a ball and die
Friday, August 6, 2010
Day 4
So far so good. But I have to get better at planning out this meal thing. Tomorrow I think I'm heading out to Wal-mart, grabbing a few big tupperware containers and boom that's it. That's what I eat for the day (for the most part - leave dinner up to chance maybe.). Either I'm eating not enough, or not the right portions. My friend's getting on my ass about it. She's got a point, don't want my body hitting starvation mode.
So I didn't hit the gym today, but I was out walking for a good 1.5hs, and I've got to move my bedroom around so my kitten's quit hanging themselves on the head board... don't ask, I'll try to get a pic of it.
I've got a few things on my to do list. I also need to figure out dinner... I know there is chicken in the freezer somewhere...
Maybe crust up some chicken breast with melba toast crumbs and some spices, a tone of veg, etc. I'll figure it out. But I best take something out of the freezer soon...
My laundary is also piling up.
And I want to clean my matress..
There are a couple other choirs... it keeps me busy. It's a good thing, I having quite kicked the habit of wanting to munch when I'm lounging. So... I figure... minimize the lounging.
I crossed by a bakery today... called Honey-bee Healthy Bakery. I went in to see what was exactly so healthy about it.
They didn't use additives, and rather then white flour, they used pasta flour... I asked her if she knew pasta flour was just enriched white flour. She blinked.
Le sigh. I'm never going to enjoy baked goods again.
So I didn't hit the gym today, but I was out walking for a good 1.5hs, and I've got to move my bedroom around so my kitten's quit hanging themselves on the head board... don't ask, I'll try to get a pic of it.
I've got a few things on my to do list. I also need to figure out dinner... I know there is chicken in the freezer somewhere...
Maybe crust up some chicken breast with melba toast crumbs and some spices, a tone of veg, etc. I'll figure it out. But I best take something out of the freezer soon...
My laundary is also piling up.
And I want to clean my matress..
There are a couple other choirs... it keeps me busy. It's a good thing, I having quite kicked the habit of wanting to munch when I'm lounging. So... I figure... minimize the lounging.
I crossed by a bakery today... called Honey-bee Healthy Bakery. I went in to see what was exactly so healthy about it.
They didn't use additives, and rather then white flour, they used pasta flour... I asked her if she knew pasta flour was just enriched white flour. She blinked.
Le sigh. I'm never going to enjoy baked goods again.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Day 2, worked out the mind and body
Don't ask me how this happened, but, I actually like going on the elliptical. At some point today, while getting through my 20 mins (which was a lot easier today), I discovered it wasn't a choir. I kinda liked.
Tomorrow, we see how long it takes me to walk 5ks, at a stead pace. Then I'm cutting it down. I have a plan for my training that I hope will work. One day, straight 5k, next day, 20 tread, 20 ellip, and my muscle work. The walk is on the Sept 11th weekend, teams can go on either the 11th or 12th, depending on the store sched... I might do both. Who knows. We'll see how it works.
At one point today, I went and had coffee with a friend and we just talked. About everything, and it was nice. I forgot how much I enjoyed having an intelligent conversation.
But something made me a little sad. I am a dinosaur. I think we might be in this real technological paradigm shift. We are inundated with technology that we can't live without it. And that's not the biggest concern. My concern is how strongly I'm holding onto the importance of things like books, well written, well studied, printed on paper books. Andrew was talking about e-books today, and how, it would be so much easier if I published and e-book. Honestly, the idea ... well I don't quite have a word to describe it. I almost feel like a traditionalist. Books = print. e-books seem to me like this uncontrolled unstandardized pale comparison, that feels as low as self publishing. Maybe my lofty ideas need to be taken down a peg. But, if everyone can do it, what makes the singular act of having a book special. I'm not as traditional as the "old dead white males" but, books, the written works, the path that lies behind us shouldn't be forgotten, it shouldn't be cast aside as archaic, just because you can read your e-books on a tablet computer.
The shift into the technological age we're rushing into is also taking it's tole on language. I was listening to this group of 14ish girls on the LRT (Sky trainish for those who don't know) and ... they were speaking in text: lol, omg, nafta (whatever the hell that means). What in the hell? You have to day LOL? You can't just laugh? Am I old? I may cry if LOL makes it into the OED. Right language shifts with cultural paradigms, I get it. I just weep for it, as it disseminates into the dribble it's shifting into.
By the way, there is a new term for broken English, "Globeish." In this broken and horrendous form english is being spoken around the world as a universal language. I am a dinosaur.
I also hate scales. I've been on three in the last 72hrs, and all have different numbers. I'm averaging it out to 242. I've decided when I hit 230, I'm playing "go through all my clothing and get rid of what doesn't fit."
Tomorrow, we see how long it takes me to walk 5ks, at a stead pace. Then I'm cutting it down. I have a plan for my training that I hope will work. One day, straight 5k, next day, 20 tread, 20 ellip, and my muscle work. The walk is on the Sept 11th weekend, teams can go on either the 11th or 12th, depending on the store sched... I might do both. Who knows. We'll see how it works.
At one point today, I went and had coffee with a friend and we just talked. About everything, and it was nice. I forgot how much I enjoyed having an intelligent conversation.
But something made me a little sad. I am a dinosaur. I think we might be in this real technological paradigm shift. We are inundated with technology that we can't live without it. And that's not the biggest concern. My concern is how strongly I'm holding onto the importance of things like books, well written, well studied, printed on paper books. Andrew was talking about e-books today, and how, it would be so much easier if I published and e-book. Honestly, the idea ... well I don't quite have a word to describe it. I almost feel like a traditionalist. Books = print. e-books seem to me like this uncontrolled unstandardized pale comparison, that feels as low as self publishing. Maybe my lofty ideas need to be taken down a peg. But, if everyone can do it, what makes the singular act of having a book special. I'm not as traditional as the "old dead white males" but, books, the written works, the path that lies behind us shouldn't be forgotten, it shouldn't be cast aside as archaic, just because you can read your e-books on a tablet computer.
The shift into the technological age we're rushing into is also taking it's tole on language. I was listening to this group of 14ish girls on the LRT (Sky trainish for those who don't know) and ... they were speaking in text: lol, omg, nafta (whatever the hell that means). What in the hell? You have to day LOL? You can't just laugh? Am I old? I may cry if LOL makes it into the OED. Right language shifts with cultural paradigms, I get it. I just weep for it, as it disseminates into the dribble it's shifting into.
By the way, there is a new term for broken English, "Globeish." In this broken and horrendous form english is being spoken around the world as a universal language. I am a dinosaur.
I also hate scales. I've been on three in the last 72hrs, and all have different numbers. I'm averaging it out to 242. I've decided when I hit 230, I'm playing "go through all my clothing and get rid of what doesn't fit."
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Day 18 ish... wash out
Alright, so this weekend was a complete wash. I went to the gym on friday, but all weekend my friends wanted to go the Capital X (It's the PNE/Playland but way smaller). I tried, really hard to keep to the fruit bowls, and I even skipped the minnie donughts. That was painful.
I wanted to head to the gym today and tomorrow but... it was closed... WTF? What kind of gym is open only 9-5 one the bloody weekend? I mean really people. And what upsets me the most is I told the girl who signed me up, "yeah well, I work a lot of 9-5s on weekends and stuff, I really want to be done my workout by 6:30, not starting it (travel time to get to Golds)." Do you think she could have mentioned... OH by the Way, our hours SUCK on weekends. The hours (Which took me two days to find the posting) are in one spot on this huge front of store window, and they aren't even in the direction that I come from. It just irks me. I know it's my own fault for not looking. So in my irked mood, I skipped the gym. I skipped the bus home and just walked, but it's barely long enough to call a workout... 1km tops. Grrrr...
I ate like crap and I skipped the gym. There.. my bad. And what's worse, I let my friend's convince me to eat like crap, and I let one of them who is on the diet with me, eat like crap.
And the worst of it is I let her convince me to eat like crap more often then I should. It's this weird co-dependent sabotage. She convinces herself that she's giving into her friends (me or others) deep desire for crap food (It's one of those NASTY smothered in process cheese and gravy, 800 cal, chicken bowels from KFC.) And I deal with it and eat whatever because I'm giving into what she wants. Well... no more. If I was really her friend I wouldn't let her sabotage herself like that, and if I were better with my goals, I'd put my foot down and say NO, I'm at least not putting that garbage into my body. So maybe that's the new goals.
That's right. New goals. I'm starting all over again at day one. New goals, new drive, and they'll be a little different.
Goal One is still
Go to the gym every day.
2. Plan out my meals to the last detail. That way I won't have the option of adding an extra carb, or an extra fat, or more of this, or less of that. This is what it is and that's that.
3. Put my foot down. No more KFC, No more crap food just to give in to what a friend wants, and to be a better friend and not let her eat that stuff. She'll pout, she'll compare me to her sister, she'll be pissed. But Ultimately, it's what she needs that I'm more worried about than what she wants. She can eat all the chicken bowls she wants when we're not together, but I'm keeping her on track. And myself too. If she wants to sabotage herself, she does it with out blaming her friends.
Officially this all starts on tuesday... Everything is closed here tomorrow. Go Heritage day. I think Alberta is the only place the celebrates this, I never heard of it in BC. I'll go for a real walk so I do get the exercise in. But Tomorrow will be plan and make my meals day.
I've come to far to stop now. I haven't had a doughnut in like 5 months. The only deserts I've had since Feb were on my cruise and I tried to keep to the low fat options. I don't know when I've ever been in the 240 range. So yeah, I'm going to see this through!
I wanted to head to the gym today and tomorrow but... it was closed... WTF? What kind of gym is open only 9-5 one the bloody weekend? I mean really people. And what upsets me the most is I told the girl who signed me up, "yeah well, I work a lot of 9-5s on weekends and stuff, I really want to be done my workout by 6:30, not starting it (travel time to get to Golds)." Do you think she could have mentioned... OH by the Way, our hours SUCK on weekends. The hours (Which took me two days to find the posting) are in one spot on this huge front of store window, and they aren't even in the direction that I come from. It just irks me. I know it's my own fault for not looking. So in my irked mood, I skipped the gym. I skipped the bus home and just walked, but it's barely long enough to call a workout... 1km tops. Grrrr...
I ate like crap and I skipped the gym. There.. my bad. And what's worse, I let my friend's convince me to eat like crap, and I let one of them who is on the diet with me, eat like crap.
And the worst of it is I let her convince me to eat like crap more often then I should. It's this weird co-dependent sabotage. She convinces herself that she's giving into her friends (me or others) deep desire for crap food (It's one of those NASTY smothered in process cheese and gravy, 800 cal, chicken bowels from KFC.) And I deal with it and eat whatever because I'm giving into what she wants. Well... no more. If I was really her friend I wouldn't let her sabotage herself like that, and if I were better with my goals, I'd put my foot down and say NO, I'm at least not putting that garbage into my body. So maybe that's the new goals.
That's right. New goals. I'm starting all over again at day one. New goals, new drive, and they'll be a little different.
Goal One is still
Go to the gym every day.
2. Plan out my meals to the last detail. That way I won't have the option of adding an extra carb, or an extra fat, or more of this, or less of that. This is what it is and that's that.
3. Put my foot down. No more KFC, No more crap food just to give in to what a friend wants, and to be a better friend and not let her eat that stuff. She'll pout, she'll compare me to her sister, she'll be pissed. But Ultimately, it's what she needs that I'm more worried about than what she wants. She can eat all the chicken bowls she wants when we're not together, but I'm keeping her on track. And myself too. If she wants to sabotage herself, she does it with out blaming her friends.
Officially this all starts on tuesday... Everything is closed here tomorrow. Go Heritage day. I think Alberta is the only place the celebrates this, I never heard of it in BC. I'll go for a real walk so I do get the exercise in. But Tomorrow will be plan and make my meals day.
I've come to far to stop now. I haven't had a doughnut in like 5 months. The only deserts I've had since Feb were on my cruise and I tried to keep to the low fat options. I don't know when I've ever been in the 240 range. So yeah, I'm going to see this through!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I'm Doing a 5K!
Hey guys,
So I've decided to do a 5K. Several reasons involved; 1. It goes to a great cause, the Children's Miracle Network so all the funds stay in Canada, and it's going to kids :). 2. It gives me a great goal to work towards, My personal goal is to raise $100. 3. It'll give me a great fitness goal.
Getting to the point I can walk 5k comfortable, or even jogging it? Yeah baby.
If anyone wants to help out my personal link is
http://www.helpmakemiracles.ca/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=500&participantID=1022
It's easy to donate on line by credit card :).
As for today, got a few errands to run, and then to the gym. I'm actually really excited to go. And I'm also thinking I'm over that energy blah. I woke up today at like 8... I've never been a morning or even close to morning person. Today, I'm up and ready to go and, I'm thinking I'm gonna try to make a healthy beef stew. We'll see what happens.
Alright everyone.
Cheers :)
So I've decided to do a 5K. Several reasons involved; 1. It goes to a great cause, the Children's Miracle Network so all the funds stay in Canada, and it's going to kids :). 2. It gives me a great goal to work towards, My personal goal is to raise $100. 3. It'll give me a great fitness goal.
Getting to the point I can walk 5k comfortable, or even jogging it? Yeah baby.
If anyone wants to help out my personal link is
http://www.helpmakemiracles.ca/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=500&participantID=1022
It's easy to donate on line by credit card :).
As for today, got a few errands to run, and then to the gym. I'm actually really excited to go. And I'm also thinking I'm over that energy blah. I woke up today at like 8... I've never been a morning or even close to morning person. Today, I'm up and ready to go and, I'm thinking I'm gonna try to make a healthy beef stew. We'll see what happens.
Alright everyone.
Cheers :)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Day 7... I think it happened!
I think... I think I might like going to the gym. Okay here's my day. All day I was psyching myself up...gotta go to the gym... I'm gonna try the elliptical. I want to do more then walking, but with my weight my knees suck, so I've been thinking okay... elliptical. The history on this is that, until today every time I ever went on an elliptical I couldn't do it. My legs would burn, I'd be out of breath, I'd be in pain, and that was like 2 mins max. It was kind of on the embarrassing side, so I'd hit the bikes and weights and forget about it.
Today... I did 20 MINS!!! YEAH BABY. I'm so psyched! It was a pain, I felt every muscle in my legs, I wanted to pass out an die, but I just kept pushing and I could do it. 20 mins! On the evil evil machine. And Right now, thinking about it... I'm pumped to hit the gym on tuesday. I'm gonna go on a 5k before work, and after all my running around. I couldn't make the time for a decent work out fit into my day tomorrow (travel time on the bus to and from) So, I'm skipping the bus on my down town errands.
And Tuesday... GYM. And I am actually really excited to go. I'm seeing results, I'm getting support, and it feels so good again.
I had a moment the other day, kind of funny and ironic. I was walking from Wal-mart to the bus loop, a good 10ish block, and I had this heavy mother thing of kitty litter. I pause for a moment, heave it up on a bench and check out the weight. 9kilos. I couldn't help but thing, I was walking around with about three of these in January. No wonder I hated moving or walking, or anything.
So, I think I'm going to take some advice from a friend of mine. I'm gonna check out some healthy slow cooker recipes. I've got one that's older than I am, and I'm thinking my own healthy frozen dinners will be a bunch better then the over priced store ones.
I'm at the point right now, just thinking about my own personal accomplishment today. It's really motivating. And Even I can't believe how excited I am about it. Hell I'm actually thinking of getting a second pass to Spa lady, so when I do a 9-5, I can be finished at 6:30, not getting started at 6:30. I've worked some time into visiting the one across the street from my store. See if they have like a 20 visit pass or something like that. This is why I miss driving a little. :P
Have a good night everyone!
Today... I did 20 MINS!!! YEAH BABY. I'm so psyched! It was a pain, I felt every muscle in my legs, I wanted to pass out an die, but I just kept pushing and I could do it. 20 mins! On the evil evil machine. And Right now, thinking about it... I'm pumped to hit the gym on tuesday. I'm gonna go on a 5k before work, and after all my running around. I couldn't make the time for a decent work out fit into my day tomorrow (travel time on the bus to and from) So, I'm skipping the bus on my down town errands.
And Tuesday... GYM. And I am actually really excited to go. I'm seeing results, I'm getting support, and it feels so good again.
I had a moment the other day, kind of funny and ironic. I was walking from Wal-mart to the bus loop, a good 10ish block, and I had this heavy mother thing of kitty litter. I pause for a moment, heave it up on a bench and check out the weight. 9kilos. I couldn't help but thing, I was walking around with about three of these in January. No wonder I hated moving or walking, or anything.
So, I think I'm going to take some advice from a friend of mine. I'm gonna check out some healthy slow cooker recipes. I've got one that's older than I am, and I'm thinking my own healthy frozen dinners will be a bunch better then the over priced store ones.
I'm at the point right now, just thinking about my own personal accomplishment today. It's really motivating. And Even I can't believe how excited I am about it. Hell I'm actually thinking of getting a second pass to Spa lady, so when I do a 9-5, I can be finished at 6:30, not getting started at 6:30. I've worked some time into visiting the one across the street from my store. See if they have like a 20 visit pass or something like that. This is why I miss driving a little. :P
Have a good night everyone!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Day 6, fantastic news, but I might have to start over
Alright, so I've been bad. Thursday, gym didn't happen, but I did sweep and mop the up and down stairs of my friend's 4 bedroom, big house, and I went for a 2km walk.
Friday my idiot x-boss was an hour late for work, and then waddles up with a fucking slurpee in hand... gah... To make matters worse she pisses around, can't find her work shirt, won't listen to me and won't call up a CSR to help get the line up so I can change over with her and get the hell up out of there! My internal monologue went off, and I (really) accidentally uttered, "yeah cause it's not like I want to go home or anything" ... well that was a 5km walk.
And today, I discovered that I really liked walking, so I repeated the 5k. So technically no gym, but I am exercising.
About the only thing I'm 100% keeping to is the green tea and no full fat coffee. I'm trying to get used to it with almond milk. Only about 35 cals for what I drink (1/2 a cup) and it's a dairy serving. So yay. And that I've only had once or twice and still had my green tea. I'm gonna switch it up, hit up the white tea.
What I need is energy. I'm so low energy lately I just want to drop like a rock one my shift is over, and pass out. I'm sleeping, and I mean dead to the world sleeping at night. Hmmm maybe I need a multi V or something.
With all of this though... here is the fantastic new. I stepped on the scale... 244lbs! That's right 4lbs down by cutting some fat from my morning and skipping the bus a few times after work, and hitting the gym.
It's enough motavation to get me there tomorrow night, and get me to skip the bus monday.
Sad new though. I had to burry a bird today. I came home and a magpie was dead in my yard... apparently a cat got it.
I know some might think I'm crazy, but I buried it in the back yard. My aunt said I should have just tossed it in a garbage bag... but... I don't know i think it deserved a little more respect. No matter what you believe we all come from the same source, every living thing is connected. So yeah.
Meal's gonna be easier tomorrow, grabbed another couple of frozen dins. And today i grabbed a chicken. 4oz of breast meat is a lot when you actually weigh it out. yeah I got a food scale, and yes I'm making sure to practice portion control. I've been keeping it in mind all along, but now it's at the forefront of my cooking.
PS. If anyone knows where I can get flour substitutes (Vegtible flour) let me know, I'm in the mood to experiment with recipes, and maybe write a cook book.
Cheers All
Friday my idiot x-boss was an hour late for work, and then waddles up with a fucking slurpee in hand... gah... To make matters worse she pisses around, can't find her work shirt, won't listen to me and won't call up a CSR to help get the line up so I can change over with her and get the hell up out of there! My internal monologue went off, and I (really) accidentally uttered, "yeah cause it's not like I want to go home or anything" ... well that was a 5km walk.
And today, I discovered that I really liked walking, so I repeated the 5k. So technically no gym, but I am exercising.
About the only thing I'm 100% keeping to is the green tea and no full fat coffee. I'm trying to get used to it with almond milk. Only about 35 cals for what I drink (1/2 a cup) and it's a dairy serving. So yay. And that I've only had once or twice and still had my green tea. I'm gonna switch it up, hit up the white tea.
What I need is energy. I'm so low energy lately I just want to drop like a rock one my shift is over, and pass out. I'm sleeping, and I mean dead to the world sleeping at night. Hmmm maybe I need a multi V or something.
With all of this though... here is the fantastic new. I stepped on the scale... 244lbs! That's right 4lbs down by cutting some fat from my morning and skipping the bus a few times after work, and hitting the gym.
It's enough motavation to get me there tomorrow night, and get me to skip the bus monday.
Sad new though. I had to burry a bird today. I came home and a magpie was dead in my yard... apparently a cat got it.
I know some might think I'm crazy, but I buried it in the back yard. My aunt said I should have just tossed it in a garbage bag... but... I don't know i think it deserved a little more respect. No matter what you believe we all come from the same source, every living thing is connected. So yeah.
Meal's gonna be easier tomorrow, grabbed another couple of frozen dins. And today i grabbed a chicken. 4oz of breast meat is a lot when you actually weigh it out. yeah I got a food scale, and yes I'm making sure to practice portion control. I've been keeping it in mind all along, but now it's at the forefront of my cooking.
PS. If anyone knows where I can get flour substitutes (Vegtible flour) let me know, I'm in the mood to experiment with recipes, and maybe write a cook book.
Cheers All
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Two out of three ain't bad
Alright, so the gym doesn't suck as much when I go after work. So It's a good thing that for the next week and a half at least I'm doing opens. Long day though. Liking it is still a stretch. I'm going to think of it like quitting smoking. The first week is a fucking killer.
I was good at the gym, I was good with the green tea and no full fat morning coffee...
but my mom brought home sausage rolls. So.... shit fat protine and white flower. Day one on the no extra treats like that starts again tomorrow.
I was good at the gym, I was good with the green tea and no full fat morning coffee...
but my mom brought home sausage rolls. So.... shit fat protine and white flower. Day one on the no extra treats like that starts again tomorrow.
oh i hate the gym
Day two sucked. I had to go to the gym before work today. I think that's what did it. Gah.... Tired, cranky, annoyed with the bus driver who left 8 mins late... grr. I wanted carbs so badly.. chocolate... would have tasted so god damed good. But... I resisted. Barely. I wanted Ice cream, I even thought about bribing the girl I was working with. Ice cream for a ride home. But instead I asked her to remind me of my 21 goal.
I'm not a complete emotional eater. It's a stress/cranky = chocolate good. I don't eat when I'm sad, or happy or anything else. It's cranky. A friend told me about a client of hers. She got homework. "Name your emotions." When Ever She goes to the pantry she has to name her emotion driving her there. Chances are it's not hunger. So, that panging desire for chocolate was named as Cranky and I want to kill people. Oie. But... what evs. I named it. I went for a smoke on my break, I came back still tired, but I plugged through and ate carrots.
I still want Ice cream... And I need to go grocery shopping. I'm running out of nuts. I probably have about one serving of pecans left.
Hmm breakfast:
2 eggs
toast with marge
I work from 11-3... it'll be a weird shift. I'll bag up some berries, toss some yogurt in the bag... ick, I might have to eat the cherry ones. I sooo need to go shopping. And also clean out the fridge.
I've had a headach all day... I don't usually get them. I'm so thinking this is withdrawls from all the refined sugar I've been enjoying the last while. My family wants to go to red lobster on thurs. I'm eating cucumbers all day. But I can stick to my plan. I mean, I avoid the pasta, I spend a little extra time at the gym, I avoid the tasty tasty.. omg so tasty buns... or I have no carbs the rest of the day. Lordy.
I can't even think about what's in my fridge to plan out my day. There's lettus... a salad will be involved.
Over all sucess, but I wanted to fail so many times.
Cheers
I'm not a complete emotional eater. It's a stress/cranky = chocolate good. I don't eat when I'm sad, or happy or anything else. It's cranky. A friend told me about a client of hers. She got homework. "Name your emotions." When Ever She goes to the pantry she has to name her emotion driving her there. Chances are it's not hunger. So, that panging desire for chocolate was named as Cranky and I want to kill people. Oie. But... what evs. I named it. I went for a smoke on my break, I came back still tired, but I plugged through and ate carrots.
I still want Ice cream... And I need to go grocery shopping. I'm running out of nuts. I probably have about one serving of pecans left.
Hmm breakfast:
2 eggs
toast with marge
I work from 11-3... it'll be a weird shift. I'll bag up some berries, toss some yogurt in the bag... ick, I might have to eat the cherry ones. I sooo need to go shopping. And also clean out the fridge.
I've had a headach all day... I don't usually get them. I'm so thinking this is withdrawls from all the refined sugar I've been enjoying the last while. My family wants to go to red lobster on thurs. I'm eating cucumbers all day. But I can stick to my plan. I mean, I avoid the pasta, I spend a little extra time at the gym, I avoid the tasty tasty.. omg so tasty buns... or I have no carbs the rest of the day. Lordy.
I can't even think about what's in my fridge to plan out my day. There's lettus... a salad will be involved.
Over all sucess, but I wanted to fail so many times.
Cheers
Monday, July 19, 2010
One Day Down
Day one: One day down.
That's right, a few cups of green tea, a trip to the gym and no excess carbs. I'm feeling good. Might just be the post-gym happies. No one likes going to the gym but I dare people to tell me they don't feel good after.
I threw out my favorite pair of pants today though. These beautiful pin-striped trouser pants, that were long and wide in the leg and slimming and pretty. Well.. they were pretty. I tried them on the other day, I had a meeting. OMG they looked awful. Too big in the leg, too big in the belly. Three steps and they'd fall down and they hung so low off my crotch it made me look like I had a gunt to my knees. Yeah I said it.
So, because I know I'm never going back to a size 24+ I tossed them. My next habit will be try one thing on every day, see if it still fits; if it does, keep it. If it doesn't... get rid of. The scary thing is... I'll have no cloths. Thank god for thrift shops.
I did come home to a disaster... yay kittens. But if that was the worst of my day, I think I'm okay. So.... Deal with the gym bag tomorrow morning.
I ended up forgetting my runners at work. But since I was planning on hitting the hot tub after my work out, it ended up being laps in the pool rather then a few miles on the treadmill. The next challenge is planning out the meals.
Okay here goes:
Breakfast:
1/2 cub blue berries (Go fiber)
1 package oat meal
1/2 cup almond milk. I like the almond milk. It's not something I really like drinking but, in the oat meal, it's really nice, it's lightly sweetened so I don't end up wanting to add sugar subs.
Snack:
Do I have celery... If I do I'm thinking celery with some low fat laughing cow cheese. People tell me it's bad, but... the fat content is really low. Has anyone even read the labels on cheddar?
I'll have a cup of cucumber if I don't have the celery.
Lunch:
Gotta be quick. I work at five. I'm gonna say about an hour to get to work from the gym (yay transit) An hour at the gym. Half an hour to get to the gym... omg the planning. I'm leaving at around two.
Tuna on a whole wheat bagel with some baby carrots. Believe it or not, you do need some fat in your diet to function, So... I'll use a little marge and some herb and garlic cream chease... but probably less than a table spoon of each.
I'll toss a nectarine and a handful of pecans (Hmmm pecans) in the bag to eat on the way to work. And maybe a few more carrots.
Dinner
Microwaved salmon dinner thing. Those healthy steamers are actually really great, and they aren't as bad as people think. Just watch the salt, and the calories, get the lower ones, and they are a perfect portion.
I'll also toss in a couple of yougurts... Love those little 35 calorie ones. So tasty. Some snap peas... and.. I think I'm looking good.
And when I get home, If I'm hungry, there are some strawberries in the fridge, those cut up and tossed in a little yougurt or almond milk... Tasty bits.
And damit I need to charge the iPod... okay...
I wanted to add another habit of writing every day... but I think... I need to focus on my health for a bit. I want to succeed in small goals. A little success goes a long way, but so does a little failure.
So... I'm thinking that's it. See everyone tomorrow!
That's right, a few cups of green tea, a trip to the gym and no excess carbs. I'm feeling good. Might just be the post-gym happies. No one likes going to the gym but I dare people to tell me they don't feel good after.
I threw out my favorite pair of pants today though. These beautiful pin-striped trouser pants, that were long and wide in the leg and slimming and pretty. Well.. they were pretty. I tried them on the other day, I had a meeting. OMG they looked awful. Too big in the leg, too big in the belly. Three steps and they'd fall down and they hung so low off my crotch it made me look like I had a gunt to my knees. Yeah I said it.
So, because I know I'm never going back to a size 24+ I tossed them. My next habit will be try one thing on every day, see if it still fits; if it does, keep it. If it doesn't... get rid of. The scary thing is... I'll have no cloths. Thank god for thrift shops.
I did come home to a disaster... yay kittens. But if that was the worst of my day, I think I'm okay. So.... Deal with the gym bag tomorrow morning.
I ended up forgetting my runners at work. But since I was planning on hitting the hot tub after my work out, it ended up being laps in the pool rather then a few miles on the treadmill. The next challenge is planning out the meals.
Okay here goes:
Breakfast:
1/2 cub blue berries (Go fiber)
1 package oat meal
1/2 cup almond milk. I like the almond milk. It's not something I really like drinking but, in the oat meal, it's really nice, it's lightly sweetened so I don't end up wanting to add sugar subs.
Snack:
Do I have celery... If I do I'm thinking celery with some low fat laughing cow cheese. People tell me it's bad, but... the fat content is really low. Has anyone even read the labels on cheddar?
I'll have a cup of cucumber if I don't have the celery.
Lunch:
Gotta be quick. I work at five. I'm gonna say about an hour to get to work from the gym (yay transit) An hour at the gym. Half an hour to get to the gym... omg the planning. I'm leaving at around two.
Tuna on a whole wheat bagel with some baby carrots. Believe it or not, you do need some fat in your diet to function, So... I'll use a little marge and some herb and garlic cream chease... but probably less than a table spoon of each.
I'll toss a nectarine and a handful of pecans (Hmmm pecans) in the bag to eat on the way to work. And maybe a few more carrots.
Dinner
Microwaved salmon dinner thing. Those healthy steamers are actually really great, and they aren't as bad as people think. Just watch the salt, and the calories, get the lower ones, and they are a perfect portion.
I'll also toss in a couple of yougurts... Love those little 35 calorie ones. So tasty. Some snap peas... and.. I think I'm looking good.
And when I get home, If I'm hungry, there are some strawberries in the fridge, those cut up and tossed in a little yougurt or almond milk... Tasty bits.
And damit I need to charge the iPod... okay...
I wanted to add another habit of writing every day... but I think... I need to focus on my health for a bit. I want to succeed in small goals. A little success goes a long way, but so does a little failure.
So... I'm thinking that's it. See everyone tomorrow!
Day One
So, for good or bad it takes 21 days to develop a habit to carry with you for the rest of your life. I need to develop some good habits.
I'm on a weight loss journey. I started it at 308lbs... yeah... I started it in Feb of this year and I'm happy to report that I'm down to 248. I'm in a size 18, and started at a 24-26 all depending on the cut and brand. I felt great. I feel okay now. But I've been stuck at 248 for a while. About a month. I know why. So far, I've been eating healthy, I've created a diet loosely based off the Canada Food Guide. But lately I've been tanking on it. Chips, chocolate, too much coffee and... no water. I haven't gained the weight back... so yay... but I haven't lost any either. I don't feel as good. I'm bloated and have low energy, and needless to say I'm not feeling that great about myself either.
So here it is... my own sense of accountability. I know where I'm going wrong, now I need to make it right. I have my 21 day goals. Three weeks to take the first steps to turning my life back around. Some how I feel writing this down and maybe getting an audience that I'm holding myself accountable to will be what I need.
No excuses. No justifications. No whining about having a bad day and needing chocolate. None of it. Just 21 days to develop three habits and seeing where I'm at. Keeping it all in mind if I miss a day... Yay... I get to start ALL over again.
My goals:
1. At least a cup of green tea in the morning rather then coffee.
2. No chocolate, chips, excess carbs, white bread, cheese bread, or any of the other tasty things my family bring into the house.
3. Gym. This seems self explanatory for weight loss, but if we're all honest with ourselves... who really wants to go to the gym every day...
Day One:
I decided to do this after I already had my morning cup of coffee, so it'll be 22 days for the no morning coffee, but that's not to day I can't have a cup of green tea. It's brewing in the fridge as we speak. I enjoy it cold.
As for the no excess carbs, I'm okay with that so far. I've had one serving. And it was whole wheat. I've got myself on three servings of grains a day, and a whole wheat english muffing that is low in cals fits on that. That, along with scrambled eggs (No butter or milk in their making) and later on half a banana was breakfast.
Today after work, I'm going to head to the gym. I work a short shift because of a meeting and there's no reason I can't head to Gold's after. They're open 24hrs. Go for an hour, and I'm still home by about... ten or 11ish. I'm not a 9-5er obviously.
Part of this diet... a large part, is planning out the day's meals. So... that'll be what I have to do. The other challenge is working at a place where I'm surrounded by candy, chocolate, and chips. Blockbuster is fun place to work, but so bad for a dieter.
Mostly I manage to keep in mind a calorie goal of 14-1600 per day. That little bit of chocolate I'm craving is 200 cals... I could have a bloody chicken breast for that much. Hell rice cakes (and they come in a wide variety of tasty flavors) can be enjoyed for 60.
I've become an obsessive label reader too. Salt = terrible. My rule, under 5% is low, over 20% is getting put back on the shelf.
Day one. Starting. Now. August 8th is Day 21
I'm on a weight loss journey. I started it at 308lbs... yeah... I started it in Feb of this year and I'm happy to report that I'm down to 248. I'm in a size 18, and started at a 24-26 all depending on the cut and brand. I felt great. I feel okay now. But I've been stuck at 248 for a while. About a month. I know why. So far, I've been eating healthy, I've created a diet loosely based off the Canada Food Guide. But lately I've been tanking on it. Chips, chocolate, too much coffee and... no water. I haven't gained the weight back... so yay... but I haven't lost any either. I don't feel as good. I'm bloated and have low energy, and needless to say I'm not feeling that great about myself either.
So here it is... my own sense of accountability. I know where I'm going wrong, now I need to make it right. I have my 21 day goals. Three weeks to take the first steps to turning my life back around. Some how I feel writing this down and maybe getting an audience that I'm holding myself accountable to will be what I need.
No excuses. No justifications. No whining about having a bad day and needing chocolate. None of it. Just 21 days to develop three habits and seeing where I'm at. Keeping it all in mind if I miss a day... Yay... I get to start ALL over again.
My goals:
1. At least a cup of green tea in the morning rather then coffee.
2. No chocolate, chips, excess carbs, white bread, cheese bread, or any of the other tasty things my family bring into the house.
3. Gym. This seems self explanatory for weight loss, but if we're all honest with ourselves... who really wants to go to the gym every day...
Day One:
I decided to do this after I already had my morning cup of coffee, so it'll be 22 days for the no morning coffee, but that's not to day I can't have a cup of green tea. It's brewing in the fridge as we speak. I enjoy it cold.
As for the no excess carbs, I'm okay with that so far. I've had one serving. And it was whole wheat. I've got myself on three servings of grains a day, and a whole wheat english muffing that is low in cals fits on that. That, along with scrambled eggs (No butter or milk in their making) and later on half a banana was breakfast.
Today after work, I'm going to head to the gym. I work a short shift because of a meeting and there's no reason I can't head to Gold's after. They're open 24hrs. Go for an hour, and I'm still home by about... ten or 11ish. I'm not a 9-5er obviously.
Part of this diet... a large part, is planning out the day's meals. So... that'll be what I have to do. The other challenge is working at a place where I'm surrounded by candy, chocolate, and chips. Blockbuster is fun place to work, but so bad for a dieter.
Mostly I manage to keep in mind a calorie goal of 14-1600 per day. That little bit of chocolate I'm craving is 200 cals... I could have a bloody chicken breast for that much. Hell rice cakes (and they come in a wide variety of tasty flavors) can be enjoyed for 60.
I've become an obsessive label reader too. Salt = terrible. My rule, under 5% is low, over 20% is getting put back on the shelf.
Day one. Starting. Now. August 8th is Day 21
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)