Squats are evil. Cruel, painful and evil. But one of the personal trainers at the club passed by me while I did them and said good job, those are hard to do. So, that gave me a little boost. :)
I thought about it whilst relaxing under some hot water, last week was a completely stress fee week. Amazing. I haven't had one of those for... well since the middle of November actually. I have been running on stress for weeks and weeks and weeks... but now... I'm good.
So Went to the gym with TJ, friend/boss from work. I'm pretty close to my 8 glasses. Had my two fruits (Raspberries in oatmeal is fan-freakin-tastic), I'm pretty close to my 4 veggies.
I cheated today though... at my job when candy has a month left before it expires we knock it down by 50% so here me and TJ are, faced with this pile of chocolate hershey bars for .65 cents... we managed to keep it to one and split it. I'm just gonna say this was a success because I LOVE chocolate, and the fact that the twoonie in my pocked would have bought two and I would have happily polished them off then and there... and I didn't... yeah... I'm gonna say success.
Anyhoo, I've taken to listing... I find it helps keep me busy, and organized... as long as I don't go overboard and hit OCD levels.
In feb a few things I want to take care of are
type up some crochet patterns
and get some stuff to put up on a crafting website, esty
make use of my new sewing machine to fix up some curtains in the house...
and properly plot out and outline a book I've been working on.
I also want to see an education counselor about going back to school.. so yeah
Lofty goals for feb.
The tenth is day 21, official weigh in and measure day. So yeah.. big month..
later guys
D
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Day 9, I think
So Day 9, I'm pretty sure. Ah the absence of a few days. Well I spent most of Friday with Brik, a lot of Sat was with him too, along with work.
So, gym wasn't part of the plan, but thanks to snow plows in the area, the boy and I walked to breakfast and back. Not a short across the street walk. I'd call it brisk (well I would if he wasn't strolling though part of it :D I love you baby... he reads this).
ANY HOO
Obviously I broke my diet.. One word... booze... I broke my diet, but the weight didn't stick, so that's a good thing.
I had a fucking awesome birthday by the way. Bowling, booze, friends, a bar at the end, and having a great boyfriend stay sober and babysit me. Apparently whilst walking to the car I wasn't entirely focused and would have walked into oncoming traffic. I like to think I maintain a few of my common sense faculties when I drink myself into a stupor but I guess that's just not the case.
So as January rolls into a close, I'm thinking I did pretty good with my list of to-do's, and my goals, I sill have 13 days of this 21 to go, but like I said, habits are well on their way to being fully formed. 8 glasses of water has been a consistent check, I think I have been fairly consistent with the writing... veggies, and fruit... inconsistent, but I'm getting SOME in every day, and I have been avoiding crap.
I got all my big to-do's done, two things will be carried over. I need to see an education counselor about furthering my degree, and in theory, I want to try to read every day, and get back into writing. I hoped that getting back into my blog would help with the writing, and it gets me writing, but it's not the writing I want to be working on. I might need something to spark the juices again.
I'm gonna keep going with the goals here, and see how automatic it becomes... I even numbered the tops of my water bottles so I can keep track better... I might be getting too obsessed.
I think I'm going to add a goal for Feb though. A friend of mine, Steph, a hugely supportive friend of mine, gave me some advice to put that fat girl voice in it's place.
One of my goals, think of one really positive thing about my body, every day. Change my thinking; like she said, if I'm hating on my legs, change the mindset, think about strong they are and how they power me through my workouts.
Water
Veggies
Fruit
blog
positive thinking!
Cheers Peeps
D
So, gym wasn't part of the plan, but thanks to snow plows in the area, the boy and I walked to breakfast and back. Not a short across the street walk. I'd call it brisk (well I would if he wasn't strolling though part of it :D I love you baby... he reads this).
ANY HOO
Obviously I broke my diet.. One word... booze... I broke my diet, but the weight didn't stick, so that's a good thing.
I had a fucking awesome birthday by the way. Bowling, booze, friends, a bar at the end, and having a great boyfriend stay sober and babysit me. Apparently whilst walking to the car I wasn't entirely focused and would have walked into oncoming traffic. I like to think I maintain a few of my common sense faculties when I drink myself into a stupor but I guess that's just not the case.
So as January rolls into a close, I'm thinking I did pretty good with my list of to-do's, and my goals, I sill have 13 days of this 21 to go, but like I said, habits are well on their way to being fully formed. 8 glasses of water has been a consistent check, I think I have been fairly consistent with the writing... veggies, and fruit... inconsistent, but I'm getting SOME in every day, and I have been avoiding crap.
I got all my big to-do's done, two things will be carried over. I need to see an education counselor about furthering my degree, and in theory, I want to try to read every day, and get back into writing. I hoped that getting back into my blog would help with the writing, and it gets me writing, but it's not the writing I want to be working on. I might need something to spark the juices again.
I'm gonna keep going with the goals here, and see how automatic it becomes... I even numbered the tops of my water bottles so I can keep track better... I might be getting too obsessed.
I think I'm going to add a goal for Feb though. A friend of mine, Steph, a hugely supportive friend of mine, gave me some advice to put that fat girl voice in it's place.
One of my goals, think of one really positive thing about my body, every day. Change my thinking; like she said, if I'm hating on my legs, change the mindset, think about strong they are and how they power me through my workouts.
Water
Veggies
Fruit
blog
positive thinking!
Cheers Peeps
D
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day 6 2lbs!
Okay, So I know I said to myself I would try to avoid the scale a little... Weight fluxes there's no way around that... but for the first time in a few days... (pause for dramatic emphasis) the scale fluxed down. I'm down 2lbs in 5 days. :D
Seeing the results dose pump me up quite a bit. It makes me want to keep going on the healthy path, it makes me want to get to the gym, and a it makes me want to drink the water, eat the veggies, go to the grocery store and get more and etc etc etc.
Last night, like I said, I was soar, I chose not to go to the gym... I regretted that so much. I was board to tears. I did my ball exercises and stuff. But, I really wanted that accomplished feeling of beating the elliptical, sweating it, seeing my heart rate get into that calorie burning zone, and all that jazz.
Well today I'm hitting the gym for sure. Tonight anyways. And I've got some house work to do today. I found this little website that calculated for every 15 mins of moderate house work I did, it burned 91 cals. If it's true it's comforting. Cause I got more than 15 mins of house work to do :P.
Hopefully the ice will melt and I can walk to the grocery store later today to. While I love baby carrots, I need a little variance in my veggies.
Tomorrow's my BDaY! yay, my odo's kicking over.. *shrugs* it's cool to think that last year I was 82lbs heavier. But one thing my bf's giving me is a training program for muscle work.
Squats,
Deadlifts
Kettlebell swings
pushups will be in volved.
They all sound terrible... However, the more lean muscle I can build, the more cals I will burn, and that ladies and gents is what this body needs.
Alright To Do today
Laundry
Clean floors,
tidy rooms,
clean bird cages,
go to gym
try to hit up grocery store
meet Brik at campus and have little date night thing
... that seems like enough.. (keeping in mind my other goals :P)
Cheers All
D
Seeing the results dose pump me up quite a bit. It makes me want to keep going on the healthy path, it makes me want to get to the gym, and a it makes me want to drink the water, eat the veggies, go to the grocery store and get more and etc etc etc.
Last night, like I said, I was soar, I chose not to go to the gym... I regretted that so much. I was board to tears. I did my ball exercises and stuff. But, I really wanted that accomplished feeling of beating the elliptical, sweating it, seeing my heart rate get into that calorie burning zone, and all that jazz.
Well today I'm hitting the gym for sure. Tonight anyways. And I've got some house work to do today. I found this little website that calculated for every 15 mins of moderate house work I did, it burned 91 cals. If it's true it's comforting. Cause I got more than 15 mins of house work to do :P.
Hopefully the ice will melt and I can walk to the grocery store later today to. While I love baby carrots, I need a little variance in my veggies.
Tomorrow's my BDaY! yay, my odo's kicking over.. *shrugs* it's cool to think that last year I was 82lbs heavier. But one thing my bf's giving me is a training program for muscle work.
Squats,
Deadlifts
Kettlebell swings
pushups will be in volved.
They all sound terrible... However, the more lean muscle I can build, the more cals I will burn, and that ladies and gents is what this body needs.
Alright To Do today
Laundry
Clean floors,
tidy rooms,
clean bird cages,
go to gym
try to hit up grocery store
meet Brik at campus and have little date night thing
... that seems like enough.. (keeping in mind my other goals :P)
Cheers All
D
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
day 6
So, by the feel of things, more habits are sticking :) I haven't missed a beat on the vitamins in the morning, nor the 8 glasses of water, nor the 4+ veggies :).
I discovered today that some romaine lettuce with some of that clover leave flavored tuna is a great low fat salad... no dressing, no extra fats. So, yay good.
I have to get some exercise in still. There was a thin layer of deadly ice covering the ground this morning, so of course I fell on the way to work, and have a grapefruit sized bruise on my ass. Yippy. So I skipped the gym on my way home, I was a little on the soar spot still. I'm gonna do some ball work, and some weights, and that will be cool.
I had a better day then yesterday and tomorrow's gonna be even better. It can only get better.
I discovered today that some romaine lettuce with some of that clover leave flavored tuna is a great low fat salad... no dressing, no extra fats. So, yay good.
I have to get some exercise in still. There was a thin layer of deadly ice covering the ground this morning, so of course I fell on the way to work, and have a grapefruit sized bruise on my ass. Yippy. So I skipped the gym on my way home, I was a little on the soar spot still. I'm gonna do some ball work, and some weights, and that will be cool.
I had a better day then yesterday and tomorrow's gonna be even better. It can only get better.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 5, you be the judge..
So, I'm 2 glasses away from 8 today. And that will happen, cause I'm kinda dying right now :P (funny the more water I drink the more I want). I went the gym, but it felt somehow unsatisfying. I did 20 mins of interval work on the bike, and normally that's good. I feel good about it. But yesterday I did 20 mins of interval on the hell that is the elliptical, and felt like I really accomplished something since I end up burning and wanting die at 20 mins of steady work. So... yesterday I felt great. I kept to my diet, I even AVOIDED COOKIES again. So, stoked about that. Had a rough morning and everything, but I said to myself... "you're not ruining your diet for some fucking cookies." And I ate my carrots.
I had soft taccos tonight, but I kept the portions small, and loaded with veggies as opposed to fatty meats, and I kept two protines open and a starch, and I hadn't had my daries - so cheese was covered at least.
So, I feel like I've kept it in the acceptable range. I'm just... feeling bummed still. I'm still feeling the fat girl that I was is creeping back in.
I had a couple moments where I was squeezing... you know.. you grab a handful of gut and shudder at how much is there. I know there's way less than when I started. I know I've at least lost 12lbs since starting this blog... AND I kept it off over the Holidays.
And I know I'm doing good things for my body. So why is the fat girl, the 300lb I hate my body fat girl sneaking up in my thoughts that I'm trying to keep positive.
I had an epiphany in the shower. Maybe... maybe it's because I'm done settling. I've never been 230... well not since I was 10 and like 12 inches shorter (I'm guessing here fyi). I've never been anything under 280 for all of my fully developed teen to adult life. So maybe the reason I stopped pushing so hard... aside from life crapping on me repeadedly... is that I settled. I settled at 230. And maybe I need to re-realize that 230 is just not God Damed good enough. I lost 80lbs, I can loose another 50!
So its not good enough for me. If 230 was good enough then why the hell don't I just go back up there. It's NOT. I don't like the way I look... FINE! I'm doing something about it... Take that Fat girl...
I'm changing... my gut... not attractive... but it's gonna shrink, so no more looking in the mirror and hating it.
That's right Ladies and Gents... It's not good enough.
Day 5 and here's my pep talk... It's not good enough, it's not worth settling... I don't like it.. I'm gonna change it. And that fat girl on my shoulder... the one tell me how bad it is... Well she can just go fuck herself!
Cheers Loves!!
D
I had soft taccos tonight, but I kept the portions small, and loaded with veggies as opposed to fatty meats, and I kept two protines open and a starch, and I hadn't had my daries - so cheese was covered at least.
So, I feel like I've kept it in the acceptable range. I'm just... feeling bummed still. I'm still feeling the fat girl that I was is creeping back in.
I had a couple moments where I was squeezing... you know.. you grab a handful of gut and shudder at how much is there. I know there's way less than when I started. I know I've at least lost 12lbs since starting this blog... AND I kept it off over the Holidays.
And I know I'm doing good things for my body. So why is the fat girl, the 300lb I hate my body fat girl sneaking up in my thoughts that I'm trying to keep positive.
I had an epiphany in the shower. Maybe... maybe it's because I'm done settling. I've never been 230... well not since I was 10 and like 12 inches shorter (I'm guessing here fyi). I've never been anything under 280 for all of my fully developed teen to adult life. So maybe the reason I stopped pushing so hard... aside from life crapping on me repeadedly... is that I settled. I settled at 230. And maybe I need to re-realize that 230 is just not God Damed good enough. I lost 80lbs, I can loose another 50!
So its not good enough for me. If 230 was good enough then why the hell don't I just go back up there. It's NOT. I don't like the way I look... FINE! I'm doing something about it... Take that Fat girl...
I'm changing... my gut... not attractive... but it's gonna shrink, so no more looking in the mirror and hating it.
That's right Ladies and Gents... It's not good enough.
Day 5 and here's my pep talk... It's not good enough, it's not worth settling... I don't like it.. I'm gonna change it. And that fat girl on my shoulder... the one tell me how bad it is... Well she can just go fuck herself!
Cheers Loves!!
D
Monday, January 24, 2011
day 4... rocking success!
today was good... all my fruit, all my water, worked out. I even ignored a container full of chocolate chip cookies!
I'm so happy with how today went!
I'm so happy with how today went!
Day 3 - one habit starting to stick
So much for my grand plans yesterday. I walked passed my wall calendar and saw that I worked that night. So, no costco, no organizing my meals. But I did walk to work, to exercise got in. I also and finding it easier and easier to get the water in. 8 glasses is nothing.
Well, work to day, and hitting up gym. I read this simplified book on the metabolism. I'm gonna give this interval training thing a try, and do some weight training. And as we speak on of my coned kittens is competing for my attention against my blog, so I must go.
Cheers Everyone.
D
Well, work to day, and hitting up gym. I read this simplified book on the metabolism. I'm gonna give this interval training thing a try, and do some weight training. And as we speak on of my coned kittens is competing for my attention against my blog, so I must go.
Cheers Everyone.
D
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My 21: Day 2, Yay!
My 21: Day 2, Yay!: "So Day two was a good day. I got all my water in, I got some good toning exercise in. I got all my veggies in. Still missing out on the frui..."
Day 2, Yay!
So Day two was a good day. I got all my water in, I got some good toning exercise in. I got all my veggies in. Still missing out on the fruit, but I had a friend over for dinner and she brought dessert... so I'm glad I didn't have the fruits for the extra sugar. That's the tough thing about dieting. People who aren't. Maybe I need to reset my mind... I'm not dieting, I'm changing my lifestyle for the better.
I set another goal yesterday. March 26... I want to be 210lbs... it's nothing special, it's just a goal with a time line. I need to be this, by this date. See how well it works. Someone told me that it's like having a test, or paper due. If you don't have that due date, when to you have it done by. And it's not like I'm the type to sit there and do my paper's last min.
I have 3 early shifts next week. That's three opportunities to cross the street and hit the gym! And I'll probably head to my other gym on my days off... which will include my B-day. I see results when I go to the gym... all the time... you'd think that would motivate me to get my ass there more.
"Brik" my bf, is on his own diet. Its this "slow carb" thing... it seems to be working really well for him. Meat, veg, beans, he's happy LOL. He suggested I try it the other day. I'm kinda tempted, simply because he's dropped about 20 lbs, in something like two weeks. It's more tempting because there is a cheat day... yeah... he piled back like 7000 cals in starchy sugary goodness and booze. But the last time I went on a low carb diet I was an emotional mess. Yeah... I cried at the drop of a hat, I was moody, lashed out... It just wasn't a good thing. I'm more curious to see if this is a maintainable, consistant weight loss... and how effective the after programe is at keeping the weight off. At least what I'm trying to do is more of a maintainable lifestyle.
Costco today: yay dry goods. But I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna grab myself two big tupper where containers, and I'm gonna put day one food in one, day two food in the second... and just pre-pack my meals. No guessing games, no did I have that already. I am just going to make it easy on myself.
Cheers Everyone Wish me luck on today!
I set another goal yesterday. March 26... I want to be 210lbs... it's nothing special, it's just a goal with a time line. I need to be this, by this date. See how well it works. Someone told me that it's like having a test, or paper due. If you don't have that due date, when to you have it done by. And it's not like I'm the type to sit there and do my paper's last min.
I have 3 early shifts next week. That's three opportunities to cross the street and hit the gym! And I'll probably head to my other gym on my days off... which will include my B-day. I see results when I go to the gym... all the time... you'd think that would motivate me to get my ass there more.
"Brik" my bf, is on his own diet. Its this "slow carb" thing... it seems to be working really well for him. Meat, veg, beans, he's happy LOL. He suggested I try it the other day. I'm kinda tempted, simply because he's dropped about 20 lbs, in something like two weeks. It's more tempting because there is a cheat day... yeah... he piled back like 7000 cals in starchy sugary goodness and booze. But the last time I went on a low carb diet I was an emotional mess. Yeah... I cried at the drop of a hat, I was moody, lashed out... It just wasn't a good thing. I'm more curious to see if this is a maintainable, consistant weight loss... and how effective the after programe is at keeping the weight off. At least what I'm trying to do is more of a maintainable lifestyle.
Costco today: yay dry goods. But I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna grab myself two big tupper where containers, and I'm gonna put day one food in one, day two food in the second... and just pre-pack my meals. No guessing games, no did I have that already. I am just going to make it easy on myself.
Cheers Everyone Wish me luck on today!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Camera Shy doesn't cover it
I know I said pictures... But I hate pictures. I've always hated pictures. And when they had to happen you bet I read up on all the tricks to make one look slightly less fat. It's not just camera shy... it's camera; omg get it the hell away from me.
and I know that a before and after shot would probably be good for my self esteem, but I'm terrified to death that I wouldn't see the change... that It wouldn't look like change.
There's always pictures of people in their spandex underwear and such... I don't really have those, and well the beyond the fear that I won't see any change is just the fact that I'm starting to see myself as the fat girl again. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm fat, no illusions, but... when I was 310lbs it took a lot of work to not hate everything about the way I looked. And then, I started loosing weight. It was incredible. I started thinking, "hey, look, less back fat" or... "check that shit out, clavicles." I even started to think, I'm getting kinda sexy.
I even had a hilarious moment when I was at a coffee shop, and looked to my profile. I was like... holy shit has my ass always stuck out that much, and then I was like wait.. it sticks out because my back is getting flatter... THAT'S AWESOME!
But lately, I'm back to the 310lb fat girl... I've lost the ability to see the changes... and I find myself working really hard to realize that I'm missing 80lbs. I'm finding it hard to not hate everything about my body again. I'm even finding it hard to believe that I'll loose more weight. ... woot emotional confessions.
So the long and short of it is right now... No pictures.
But...
Measurements... (In inches)
Chest: 46.5
Arms: 15
Thighs: 26.5
Calf: 19
Waste: 43
Hips: 51
Congrats to me, I'm a pear shape. But that's okay, pears are delicious. We'll see what those are in 21 days.
and I know that a before and after shot would probably be good for my self esteem, but I'm terrified to death that I wouldn't see the change... that It wouldn't look like change.
There's always pictures of people in their spandex underwear and such... I don't really have those, and well the beyond the fear that I won't see any change is just the fact that I'm starting to see myself as the fat girl again. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm fat, no illusions, but... when I was 310lbs it took a lot of work to not hate everything about the way I looked. And then, I started loosing weight. It was incredible. I started thinking, "hey, look, less back fat" or... "check that shit out, clavicles." I even started to think, I'm getting kinda sexy.
I even had a hilarious moment when I was at a coffee shop, and looked to my profile. I was like... holy shit has my ass always stuck out that much, and then I was like wait.. it sticks out because my back is getting flatter... THAT'S AWESOME!
But lately, I'm back to the 310lb fat girl... I've lost the ability to see the changes... and I find myself working really hard to realize that I'm missing 80lbs. I'm finding it hard to not hate everything about my body again. I'm even finding it hard to believe that I'll loose more weight. ... woot emotional confessions.
So the long and short of it is right now... No pictures.
But...
Measurements... (In inches)
Chest: 46.5
Arms: 15
Thighs: 26.5
Calf: 19
Waste: 43
Hips: 51
Congrats to me, I'm a pear shape. But that's okay, pears are delicious. We'll see what those are in 21 days.
Day one... Sucessish
Well Day one was okay is, for getting back into it I suppose I should be happy. 5 glasses of water, a bunch of veggies... solid 4 at least, only a little fruit, but I think I did okay.
Must however do something about the goodies that are always at work. If anyone's ever been in a Blockbuster... the junk food is immense... and even if I haven't bought it... someone else has. It's a share and share alike thing. And really who can say no to a big beautiful chip staring right at you. Some how I must convince myself that veggies and dip is as tasty as chips...
I mean it's getting better though. Veggies are sneaking in. We need to just take turns buying veggie trays or something.
My cats look sad... they just got fixed... and they are coned. They have lost their kitty grace and if it wasn't so funny it would be sad. Or maybe it's the other way around. Meh, they don't hate me... even though I was the one to take them to the vet. Nope, they just spend hours trying to sleep on me. I feel guilty about moving in the middle of the night.
As for today, I'm almost done 2 glasses of water and beginning the debate, eggs and toast, or oatmeal.
Loves
D
Must however do something about the goodies that are always at work. If anyone's ever been in a Blockbuster... the junk food is immense... and even if I haven't bought it... someone else has. It's a share and share alike thing. And really who can say no to a big beautiful chip staring right at you. Some how I must convince myself that veggies and dip is as tasty as chips...
I mean it's getting better though. Veggies are sneaking in. We need to just take turns buying veggie trays or something.
My cats look sad... they just got fixed... and they are coned. They have lost their kitty grace and if it wasn't so funny it would be sad. Or maybe it's the other way around. Meh, they don't hate me... even though I was the one to take them to the vet. Nope, they just spend hours trying to sleep on me. I feel guilty about moving in the middle of the night.
As for today, I'm almost done 2 glasses of water and beginning the debate, eggs and toast, or oatmeal.
Loves
D
Friday, January 21, 2011
Welcome Back...
It's been a while. A very long while. Life happened to hit me like a ton of bricks. Firstly I went through this stint where no matter what I was putting in my mouth, I was ending up in doubled over pain. I couldn't move, I could barely keep from screaming, I was throwing up all the time... As it turns out... lactose intolerance... yeah it does that apparently. But for about a month all doctors were asking me was "are you sure you're not pregnant." I finally put it together myself and just asked to get tested. I miss yogurt. :(
The other stress... some family stuff... Mostly Family stuff. Too much family stuff... My mom over dosed on morphine. Yeah, she was addicted to morphine - but it was a prescription from a doctor, so she was thinking... hey it's okay that I'm a drug addict. Years of begging didn't work, she wouldn't stop, and it finally came to a head. She spent a week in university hospital's psyc ward. Then after a few weeks of her being home, she goes nuts again. She spent ten days bouncing from hospital to hospital, begging for drugs, and in a delusional state. It's a long a painful story... but now she's in Alberta hospital... mental health place... she's still delusional, and she's still the biggest stress in my life.
I love her, but I'm thinking I need to cut her loose. Not forever, but she's phoning and harassing me, telling me stories about the police and nurses beating her up... and she's begging for drugs... she thinks me and my boy friend of... 4 months have a baby girl... and it's just a nightmare... I need some selfish time. I need to get back to me... I need to get my life back. I was most focused when I was writing a little here and there.
So back to goals... Back to weight loss... Back to getting myself better... and back to keeping myself away from depression.
So goals... 21 days of getting healthier!
On the plus side, for those of you who were following, I started this blog at 242lbs.. Today, it's 229.5LBs... and I didn't gain a pound over christmas! Always a good thing.
So. here's the goals for the next 21 days -
8 glasses of water
Write on my blog
4-5 veggies
2-3 fruits
and of course exercise. I bout an exercise ball and I've decided I love bouncing on it... my legs hate me though.
This time I am putting up some before pics. They'll be posted soon.
And again... for all the followers... yeah I played let's get rid of cloths when I hit 230.
Day one so far...
Exercise Check
and I'm on 3rd glass of water.
When I get it, I'll end up posting my boyfriend's blog up here too... he's on this slow carb thing... he's loosing a good amount of weight too.
Cheers ALL
The other stress... some family stuff... Mostly Family stuff. Too much family stuff... My mom over dosed on morphine. Yeah, she was addicted to morphine - but it was a prescription from a doctor, so she was thinking... hey it's okay that I'm a drug addict. Years of begging didn't work, she wouldn't stop, and it finally came to a head. She spent a week in university hospital's psyc ward. Then after a few weeks of her being home, she goes nuts again. She spent ten days bouncing from hospital to hospital, begging for drugs, and in a delusional state. It's a long a painful story... but now she's in Alberta hospital... mental health place... she's still delusional, and she's still the biggest stress in my life.
I love her, but I'm thinking I need to cut her loose. Not forever, but she's phoning and harassing me, telling me stories about the police and nurses beating her up... and she's begging for drugs... she thinks me and my boy friend of... 4 months have a baby girl... and it's just a nightmare... I need some selfish time. I need to get back to me... I need to get my life back. I was most focused when I was writing a little here and there.
So back to goals... Back to weight loss... Back to getting myself better... and back to keeping myself away from depression.
So goals... 21 days of getting healthier!
On the plus side, for those of you who were following, I started this blog at 242lbs.. Today, it's 229.5LBs... and I didn't gain a pound over christmas! Always a good thing.
So. here's the goals for the next 21 days -
8 glasses of water
Write on my blog
4-5 veggies
2-3 fruits
and of course exercise. I bout an exercise ball and I've decided I love bouncing on it... my legs hate me though.
This time I am putting up some before pics. They'll be posted soon.
And again... for all the followers... yeah I played let's get rid of cloths when I hit 230.
Day one so far...
Exercise Check
and I'm on 3rd glass of water.
When I get it, I'll end up posting my boyfriend's blog up here too... he's on this slow carb thing... he's loosing a good amount of weight too.
Cheers ALL
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)