So, it happened, I hit 240LBS! yay!
I've decided that at 230, I'm going to play go through my entire closet and wardrobe and get rid of whatever doesn't fit... and at this point it's going to be a lot. I'm thinking of putting like 100 bucks away so I can hit up a couple of stores, and thrift shops...
But yay 240~
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Yay thunderstorms
So, power's been out, my cats don't like thunder, and for whatever goddamed reason I can't get below 242 and stay there....
Jesus I'm hitting a wall.
re-group time... i just don't know how to or what to do next. I'm going to play calorie counting soon, and just grab a big ass tupperwear container, day one food in there, day two food in the next.. then I can't deviate... It's not like I've been deviating tones... I've just been forgetting to eat the veg. I'm just not hungry. And I keep thinking back to the days of pain.
Anyone know a good cleanse? I don't really wanna do one of those starve yourself things... I just want to clear out my system and start fresh. Maybe I'll hit up a health store this week.
I'm also trying not to get sick, and starting my second job today. To vitamin C, and a little extra rest. I'm sure I'll be fine. And gargle salt water... since at this point I can feel it in my throat.
I clocked myself.. 1 39 mins to comfortable walk 5K, and 4 weeks to bring that down. Maybe I'll stop looking at the scale for four weeks and just look at my time; either way though, I'm feeling obsessed with numbers.
Jesus I'm hitting a wall.
re-group time... i just don't know how to or what to do next. I'm going to play calorie counting soon, and just grab a big ass tupperwear container, day one food in there, day two food in the next.. then I can't deviate... It's not like I've been deviating tones... I've just been forgetting to eat the veg. I'm just not hungry. And I keep thinking back to the days of pain.
Anyone know a good cleanse? I don't really wanna do one of those starve yourself things... I just want to clear out my system and start fresh. Maybe I'll hit up a health store this week.
I'm also trying not to get sick, and starting my second job today. To vitamin C, and a little extra rest. I'm sure I'll be fine. And gargle salt water... since at this point I can feel it in my throat.
I clocked myself.. 1 39 mins to comfortable walk 5K, and 4 weeks to bring that down. Maybe I'll stop looking at the scale for four weeks and just look at my time; either way though, I'm feeling obsessed with numbers.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Day 8, or six... I feel gross
Alright, WTF. I had a muffin, A muffin... A coffee shop muffin. I went to a coffee shop with a friend, had a muffin (yeah it was one of those big over sized coffee shop muffins but it took me about an hour and half to eat it) and I have now spent the better part of two days in severe bloated pain. I mean Doubled over, my rib cage feels like it's going to crack open kind of pain. Add too it heart burn and the burps and I've been one cranky girl. I tried to hit the gym and was actually doubled over after about 10 mins.
I can't eat crap food... Has my body become so used to decent balanced eating that I can't even handle the crap food I was so easily consuming? But just seems odd... extreme...
grr... I'm going to go find more pepto, curl up into a ball and die
I can't eat crap food... Has my body become so used to decent balanced eating that I can't even handle the crap food I was so easily consuming? But just seems odd... extreme...
grr... I'm going to go find more pepto, curl up into a ball and die
Friday, August 6, 2010
Day 4
So far so good. But I have to get better at planning out this meal thing. Tomorrow I think I'm heading out to Wal-mart, grabbing a few big tupperware containers and boom that's it. That's what I eat for the day (for the most part - leave dinner up to chance maybe.). Either I'm eating not enough, or not the right portions. My friend's getting on my ass about it. She's got a point, don't want my body hitting starvation mode.
So I didn't hit the gym today, but I was out walking for a good 1.5hs, and I've got to move my bedroom around so my kitten's quit hanging themselves on the head board... don't ask, I'll try to get a pic of it.
I've got a few things on my to do list. I also need to figure out dinner... I know there is chicken in the freezer somewhere...
Maybe crust up some chicken breast with melba toast crumbs and some spices, a tone of veg, etc. I'll figure it out. But I best take something out of the freezer soon...
My laundary is also piling up.
And I want to clean my matress..
There are a couple other choirs... it keeps me busy. It's a good thing, I having quite kicked the habit of wanting to munch when I'm lounging. So... I figure... minimize the lounging.
I crossed by a bakery today... called Honey-bee Healthy Bakery. I went in to see what was exactly so healthy about it.
They didn't use additives, and rather then white flour, they used pasta flour... I asked her if she knew pasta flour was just enriched white flour. She blinked.
Le sigh. I'm never going to enjoy baked goods again.
So I didn't hit the gym today, but I was out walking for a good 1.5hs, and I've got to move my bedroom around so my kitten's quit hanging themselves on the head board... don't ask, I'll try to get a pic of it.
I've got a few things on my to do list. I also need to figure out dinner... I know there is chicken in the freezer somewhere...
Maybe crust up some chicken breast with melba toast crumbs and some spices, a tone of veg, etc. I'll figure it out. But I best take something out of the freezer soon...
My laundary is also piling up.
And I want to clean my matress..
There are a couple other choirs... it keeps me busy. It's a good thing, I having quite kicked the habit of wanting to munch when I'm lounging. So... I figure... minimize the lounging.
I crossed by a bakery today... called Honey-bee Healthy Bakery. I went in to see what was exactly so healthy about it.
They didn't use additives, and rather then white flour, they used pasta flour... I asked her if she knew pasta flour was just enriched white flour. She blinked.
Le sigh. I'm never going to enjoy baked goods again.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Day 2, worked out the mind and body
Don't ask me how this happened, but, I actually like going on the elliptical. At some point today, while getting through my 20 mins (which was a lot easier today), I discovered it wasn't a choir. I kinda liked.
Tomorrow, we see how long it takes me to walk 5ks, at a stead pace. Then I'm cutting it down. I have a plan for my training that I hope will work. One day, straight 5k, next day, 20 tread, 20 ellip, and my muscle work. The walk is on the Sept 11th weekend, teams can go on either the 11th or 12th, depending on the store sched... I might do both. Who knows. We'll see how it works.
At one point today, I went and had coffee with a friend and we just talked. About everything, and it was nice. I forgot how much I enjoyed having an intelligent conversation.
But something made me a little sad. I am a dinosaur. I think we might be in this real technological paradigm shift. We are inundated with technology that we can't live without it. And that's not the biggest concern. My concern is how strongly I'm holding onto the importance of things like books, well written, well studied, printed on paper books. Andrew was talking about e-books today, and how, it would be so much easier if I published and e-book. Honestly, the idea ... well I don't quite have a word to describe it. I almost feel like a traditionalist. Books = print. e-books seem to me like this uncontrolled unstandardized pale comparison, that feels as low as self publishing. Maybe my lofty ideas need to be taken down a peg. But, if everyone can do it, what makes the singular act of having a book special. I'm not as traditional as the "old dead white males" but, books, the written works, the path that lies behind us shouldn't be forgotten, it shouldn't be cast aside as archaic, just because you can read your e-books on a tablet computer.
The shift into the technological age we're rushing into is also taking it's tole on language. I was listening to this group of 14ish girls on the LRT (Sky trainish for those who don't know) and ... they were speaking in text: lol, omg, nafta (whatever the hell that means). What in the hell? You have to day LOL? You can't just laugh? Am I old? I may cry if LOL makes it into the OED. Right language shifts with cultural paradigms, I get it. I just weep for it, as it disseminates into the dribble it's shifting into.
By the way, there is a new term for broken English, "Globeish." In this broken and horrendous form english is being spoken around the world as a universal language. I am a dinosaur.
I also hate scales. I've been on three in the last 72hrs, and all have different numbers. I'm averaging it out to 242. I've decided when I hit 230, I'm playing "go through all my clothing and get rid of what doesn't fit."
Tomorrow, we see how long it takes me to walk 5ks, at a stead pace. Then I'm cutting it down. I have a plan for my training that I hope will work. One day, straight 5k, next day, 20 tread, 20 ellip, and my muscle work. The walk is on the Sept 11th weekend, teams can go on either the 11th or 12th, depending on the store sched... I might do both. Who knows. We'll see how it works.
At one point today, I went and had coffee with a friend and we just talked. About everything, and it was nice. I forgot how much I enjoyed having an intelligent conversation.
But something made me a little sad. I am a dinosaur. I think we might be in this real technological paradigm shift. We are inundated with technology that we can't live without it. And that's not the biggest concern. My concern is how strongly I'm holding onto the importance of things like books, well written, well studied, printed on paper books. Andrew was talking about e-books today, and how, it would be so much easier if I published and e-book. Honestly, the idea ... well I don't quite have a word to describe it. I almost feel like a traditionalist. Books = print. e-books seem to me like this uncontrolled unstandardized pale comparison, that feels as low as self publishing. Maybe my lofty ideas need to be taken down a peg. But, if everyone can do it, what makes the singular act of having a book special. I'm not as traditional as the "old dead white males" but, books, the written works, the path that lies behind us shouldn't be forgotten, it shouldn't be cast aside as archaic, just because you can read your e-books on a tablet computer.
The shift into the technological age we're rushing into is also taking it's tole on language. I was listening to this group of 14ish girls on the LRT (Sky trainish for those who don't know) and ... they were speaking in text: lol, omg, nafta (whatever the hell that means). What in the hell? You have to day LOL? You can't just laugh? Am I old? I may cry if LOL makes it into the OED. Right language shifts with cultural paradigms, I get it. I just weep for it, as it disseminates into the dribble it's shifting into.
By the way, there is a new term for broken English, "Globeish." In this broken and horrendous form english is being spoken around the world as a universal language. I am a dinosaur.
I also hate scales. I've been on three in the last 72hrs, and all have different numbers. I'm averaging it out to 242. I've decided when I hit 230, I'm playing "go through all my clothing and get rid of what doesn't fit."
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Day 18 ish... wash out
Alright, so this weekend was a complete wash. I went to the gym on friday, but all weekend my friends wanted to go the Capital X (It's the PNE/Playland but way smaller). I tried, really hard to keep to the fruit bowls, and I even skipped the minnie donughts. That was painful.
I wanted to head to the gym today and tomorrow but... it was closed... WTF? What kind of gym is open only 9-5 one the bloody weekend? I mean really people. And what upsets me the most is I told the girl who signed me up, "yeah well, I work a lot of 9-5s on weekends and stuff, I really want to be done my workout by 6:30, not starting it (travel time to get to Golds)." Do you think she could have mentioned... OH by the Way, our hours SUCK on weekends. The hours (Which took me two days to find the posting) are in one spot on this huge front of store window, and they aren't even in the direction that I come from. It just irks me. I know it's my own fault for not looking. So in my irked mood, I skipped the gym. I skipped the bus home and just walked, but it's barely long enough to call a workout... 1km tops. Grrrr...
I ate like crap and I skipped the gym. There.. my bad. And what's worse, I let my friend's convince me to eat like crap, and I let one of them who is on the diet with me, eat like crap.
And the worst of it is I let her convince me to eat like crap more often then I should. It's this weird co-dependent sabotage. She convinces herself that she's giving into her friends (me or others) deep desire for crap food (It's one of those NASTY smothered in process cheese and gravy, 800 cal, chicken bowels from KFC.) And I deal with it and eat whatever because I'm giving into what she wants. Well... no more. If I was really her friend I wouldn't let her sabotage herself like that, and if I were better with my goals, I'd put my foot down and say NO, I'm at least not putting that garbage into my body. So maybe that's the new goals.
That's right. New goals. I'm starting all over again at day one. New goals, new drive, and they'll be a little different.
Goal One is still
Go to the gym every day.
2. Plan out my meals to the last detail. That way I won't have the option of adding an extra carb, or an extra fat, or more of this, or less of that. This is what it is and that's that.
3. Put my foot down. No more KFC, No more crap food just to give in to what a friend wants, and to be a better friend and not let her eat that stuff. She'll pout, she'll compare me to her sister, she'll be pissed. But Ultimately, it's what she needs that I'm more worried about than what she wants. She can eat all the chicken bowls she wants when we're not together, but I'm keeping her on track. And myself too. If she wants to sabotage herself, she does it with out blaming her friends.
Officially this all starts on tuesday... Everything is closed here tomorrow. Go Heritage day. I think Alberta is the only place the celebrates this, I never heard of it in BC. I'll go for a real walk so I do get the exercise in. But Tomorrow will be plan and make my meals day.
I've come to far to stop now. I haven't had a doughnut in like 5 months. The only deserts I've had since Feb were on my cruise and I tried to keep to the low fat options. I don't know when I've ever been in the 240 range. So yeah, I'm going to see this through!
I wanted to head to the gym today and tomorrow but... it was closed... WTF? What kind of gym is open only 9-5 one the bloody weekend? I mean really people. And what upsets me the most is I told the girl who signed me up, "yeah well, I work a lot of 9-5s on weekends and stuff, I really want to be done my workout by 6:30, not starting it (travel time to get to Golds)." Do you think she could have mentioned... OH by the Way, our hours SUCK on weekends. The hours (Which took me two days to find the posting) are in one spot on this huge front of store window, and they aren't even in the direction that I come from. It just irks me. I know it's my own fault for not looking. So in my irked mood, I skipped the gym. I skipped the bus home and just walked, but it's barely long enough to call a workout... 1km tops. Grrrr...
I ate like crap and I skipped the gym. There.. my bad. And what's worse, I let my friend's convince me to eat like crap, and I let one of them who is on the diet with me, eat like crap.
And the worst of it is I let her convince me to eat like crap more often then I should. It's this weird co-dependent sabotage. She convinces herself that she's giving into her friends (me or others) deep desire for crap food (It's one of those NASTY smothered in process cheese and gravy, 800 cal, chicken bowels from KFC.) And I deal with it and eat whatever because I'm giving into what she wants. Well... no more. If I was really her friend I wouldn't let her sabotage herself like that, and if I were better with my goals, I'd put my foot down and say NO, I'm at least not putting that garbage into my body. So maybe that's the new goals.
That's right. New goals. I'm starting all over again at day one. New goals, new drive, and they'll be a little different.
Goal One is still
Go to the gym every day.
2. Plan out my meals to the last detail. That way I won't have the option of adding an extra carb, or an extra fat, or more of this, or less of that. This is what it is and that's that.
3. Put my foot down. No more KFC, No more crap food just to give in to what a friend wants, and to be a better friend and not let her eat that stuff. She'll pout, she'll compare me to her sister, she'll be pissed. But Ultimately, it's what she needs that I'm more worried about than what she wants. She can eat all the chicken bowls she wants when we're not together, but I'm keeping her on track. And myself too. If she wants to sabotage herself, she does it with out blaming her friends.
Officially this all starts on tuesday... Everything is closed here tomorrow. Go Heritage day. I think Alberta is the only place the celebrates this, I never heard of it in BC. I'll go for a real walk so I do get the exercise in. But Tomorrow will be plan and make my meals day.
I've come to far to stop now. I haven't had a doughnut in like 5 months. The only deserts I've had since Feb were on my cruise and I tried to keep to the low fat options. I don't know when I've ever been in the 240 range. So yeah, I'm going to see this through!
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